BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce I sold the wedding bands today.....

It has been a year and a half since my divorce. Last year I told my ex-husband that I threw the wedding bands in the river, the cove where our love story started 20 years ago. I told him that where the love story began is where it has ended. He can go dive for the rings if he wants to.

But I kept the rings.

I am unemployed and I thought I might need to sell the wedding bands some day, but more so I think I kept them because I was still in love with the man after 16 years of marriage and a 19 year relationship. He divorced me to pursue a life with another woman, and he wanted children. I did not.

Out of financial need they had to be sold today. It was awful. I had tears in my eyes while the shop wrote up the check for me. It is unfair, but even with the high price of gold today it is hard to get any decent compensation for used jewelry. It was a very small amount of money received for rings that had meant the world to me, had symbolized a beautiful love and so many dreams. It added insult to injury but I had no choice but to sell them.

It was like reliving the divorce all over again. I can never look at them again and imagine the rings on our fingers, the two of us so in love once. Later today I thought about our lovely wedding day, a somewhat casual affair outdoors on a beautiful May day, with birds singing and a bunch of white and lavender lilacs tied with cream colored ribbon in my arms. I never looked better in my life. And I was so happy.

I am still in pain over the divorce. I cried and cried today. Letting go of the rings today was having to let go of that love of my soulmate and best friend, my confidant and lover......all over again. My divorce was the most devestating thing I have ever gone through in my life. My father died when I was 26 years old, and that event was not as painful and difficult to get through.

I just needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

Oh Cassie,

I understand how you feel, on so many levels. I'm so sorry too. I know that doesn't mean much, but someone else can feel that thing that gets caught in your throat and it kind of brings about a nauseousness or it does for me.

It's a buyers market right now. Regardless of whatever's out there saying the economy is great, getting better, etc. No, it's not and there are people out there waiting to make a profit off of it as well.

This isn't much, but whatever you got for those rings, take a portion of it and put it towards something new.

Like project to next Spring, find your Farmer's Market, see how much it is to rent a booth and set aside a portion, not only for that 2-3 day period, but items, you can either grow or make, candles, potpouri, potted herbs, and turn just a little bit of what you got for those rings into something just a bit more than what it was.

From that, build even further, even if it's framing pictures you're able to take of nature and selling them.

There's no such thing an infinite spiral, up or down. Finding the middle or balance, that's the art, that's what we can build on.

All the best hon ((hugs))

Cassie, I just happened to see this post come up this morning. I feel so terribly sorry about what you are going through. Twenty years is such a long time to be with your soul mate. I really wish that your husband (after so many years of marriage) could have worked out his needs for children in a more considerate way, such as doing volunteer work or being a mentor, with all the opportunities out there to do so. But then if it's all about just pro-creating and passing down the family line, it gets difficult to negotiate with a spouse.

I hope all of the best for you and perhaps some day you will be able to love again. I will keep you in my prayers.

Thanks ladies for responding. I will take your words to heart.

Funny thing is, my ex-husband didn't leave me for a younger woman to make a family for himself. I was 42 and he was 39 when he decided to leave me. He connected with a woman who he supposedly was "friends" with for at least 6 years. This year, just a year after our divorce, he married her.....she is 47 YEARS OLD with two grown kids and another who is 14 years old. She promised him a BABY???

It was not the first time he cheated on me, but he never had the b@lls to just come out and tell me that he wanted to be with someone else. He used the baby excuse to make me feel like garbage....after years of telling me that he was ok with not having kids. Supposedly him having a baby with this older woman is "on the list". I am curious to see if she does give him that baby. He finally landed his dream job after many years of school and support from me, and I think this woman saw a meal ticket.

Such is life.....

Beth, last year when my world fell apart I met a kind and gentle man. He treated me very well and still does today, but he does not love deeply like I do. I fell in love with him but he does not feel the same. He loves me, but he is not "in love" with me, and I am in the conflict now of trying to figure out if what my relationship is with him is enough for me or if I should move on, only to be hurt again because the man I love with everything I am cannot love me back the same way.

The thought of leaving him and his gentle touch is painful to me, especially since I still deal with the pain of losing my husband. There are times I hurt because my boyfriend does not return the same feelings, and as a result I cannot be fully who I really am with him. I can only reveal my true self with someone who is in love with me.

Seems like if there is a difficult situation to get into, I find it and I get into it deep. Sigh.......

I am excited to see the title on this thread, since I do not know what people getting divorced do with their rings. My still-husband and I are very amicable, and we have discussed the ring situation. he says sell them for what I can get for them.

I don't know how to do this - where does one sell rings? How many places are best to shop around for buyers? Does everyone sell their previous wedding and engagement rings, or keep them for awhile? I really like my rings - they are so pretty. But is it weird to wear them after a divorce?

Any advice or comments are appreciated.

Jilly,

Most jewelry stores will buy them or the pawn shops will as well but you will only get a fraction of what they cost depending on how much gold or silver is in them.

Your rings may have cost, say,five hundred dollars and you will sell them at a store for maybe a hundred dollars if you are lucky. It all depends on the price of silver and gold that day.

Like any collectible, they are worth whatever you can sell them for. You can get more money probably by posting them in the newspaper, on Craigslist, on Ebay and places like that.

No,it'snot weird if you want to keep them or even wear them because they do have a sentimental meaning to you and they may even remind you of happier times. I say if you like them and do not need the money, then keep them. Either on your fingers or in your jewelry box.

Thanks for the advice, Vance. I do need the money more than the jewelry, so I guess I should start to ask around at jewelry stores how much I might get for the rings.

Maybe I will not do them at both at once though. Do one now and see how i feel about it.

I took mine, got an appraisal to see what I was dealing with and called around to see who I would need to speak with if I had some rings w/precious stones in them.

You could also, if you had other jewelry, make a corner store on Amazon, take some attractive photos as well as a nice write up, set a price and see what you get for them.

With mine I did both. I sold part and broke down the rest of the other rings and added some purification stones along with them and now have a new setting. Actually people compliment them, they're unusual.

I picked old looking settings, something you wouldn't likely find.

It is always in the back of my mind to sell them too, but they're pretty, like you said. So when the time is right, off they'll go to someone new

Elleise, thank you for the good advice. Where does one get an appraisal? Is that a free service?

Oh, and does anyone actually wear their old wedding bands and engagement rings once divorced?