BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Where are MY rights?

Something is wrong with you, not her. You should more ask yourself why you are disturbed by seeing this natural behavior. Yours is not natural at all. Try to get healed and then you'll let people in peace. Never take that as an offence, i don't know you, but understand that your repulse of a woman feeding her kid has to interrogate you; especielly to a point of not finishing what you were doing.

My friend had a baby a year ago, I've seen her once since. About three weeks after having her son, we went to a casual restaurant. Before I left, I said to my friend "I bet you she'll breast feed in front of me." Not because I cared, but I just knew she would. Anyway, she told me she'd fed the baby so she wouldn't need to - we were sat, just drinking tea and the baby starts crying - so all of a sudden she keeps taking her breast out and forcing it into the kids mouth - he didn't want it and it was going everywhere, she covered herself slightly with a scarf.

The baby didn't want the breast milk and she'd already told me she'd fed him so I thought and felt she was just trying to get a reaction from me - which she didn't get. She did get a few filthy looks from other diners and we even had a very rude remark from a foreigner whose choice of clothes I didn't want to look at.

Personally, I think that the media has sexualised women to an extreme point that they feel breastfeeding is sexual in someway themselves. Breast feeding is natural - though I wouldn't like it in a restaurant, if it was the night, if it was the day then - that's too bad. It's natural. That's how we're on the planet. I certainly don't think ppl should stare or give dirty looks. Though I can see the point that some women do it for attention - my friend did. But why give it to them? I really couldn't care one way or the other. It's not vulger, it's nothing. Who cares?

It's funny reading this because it reminds me of the Roahld Dahl book 'Matilda' - because every time I see these CF threads ppl are always upset about something rather than being happy about it. It's like some ppl REALLY hate children - and you were all children yourself at some point.

CF - I don't care. I know a lot of women get a huge amount of [censored] for not having children, and I don't understand it. But a lot of what Arrow has said here is correct. Society is becoming like Big Brother - you can't do this, you can't do that. Everyone has their own standards. That's life.

Is it really against the law in the USA for a woman to go topless, because that's very sexist to me. There are too many rules for my liking in the West. It's like 1984.

Yes, the woman probably should have gone to the bathroom, but is it really worth leaving the restaurant for? No! Yes, my friend was showing off so I completley understand what many of you are saying. I didn't exactly love staring at her nipple while I was pouring my milk - but that's nature and I just ignored it and got on with things. Needless to say that was the last time I saw her because she's been SO busy with her new baby she can't even make a phone call anymore, or return one.

I don't know why I just wrote all this - just random thoughts LOL. Peace

Kat1980 wrote on 11/6/10...."Although more often than not parents become so involved in parenting that they lose themselves, it is not a requirement to be a good parent."

Unfortunately more often than not, parents do lose themselves because they are so involved in parenting. I think it is the chance you take when becoming a parent. It certainly was a choice to have the children, so if you don't have the time for a lot of personal activities as a result of that decision, it is par for the course. It is up to the parent to maintain some balance, but in a busy world that is often impossible to do for a lot of people.

As far as it is not a requirement to be a good parent, that I do not agree with. If you are going to take on the huge responsibility of bringing a new life into this world, you owe it to that child to be a good, responsible, loving parent. Especially when the child is very young and cannot care for itself, the needs of this child must come first, not the needs of the parent. Again, it was the choice of the parent to have a child, so now the parent must take responsibility for the care and needs of the child. Along with parenting comes sacrifice.

As for the issue of breastfeeding, I can see the point of not wanting to see a boob flopped out in public where others are enjoying a meal in a restaurant. There should be no reason to have to look at a woman's body parts that are normally covered in public just because she has a baby to feed.

I have seen women breastfeeding in public with so much decency and consideration for others that you could barely tell they were breastfeeding at all. It was discreet, with mother's breast and baby's head lightly covered to afford some decency. I have no problem with that because the act of breastfeeding itself is not a bad thing. These particular women I've seen obviously were not trying to advertise what is under their blouses, and I commend them for being discreet. By the same token I would not want to see more than that in a restaurant or any other public place. It is just not necessary, and it only results in calling attention to themselves.

There is something wrong with me for asking to be respected when I pay money for a meal out!?! First of all, I thought this thing was over A YEAR AGO, but, god bless you for beating a dead horse. Plain and simple, When you purchase a meal out, you pay for a certain atmosphere, and, by US law, that atmosphere should not include bare breasts and nipples. Plain and simple. You don't become above the law just because you give birth. But, I really don't want to start this up again, as this particular issue seems to turn wonderful, caring people into vicious monsters (not saying anyone here, but, the exact same debate got VERY heated on Facebook a few months back). My whole purpose for writing was just to express my displeasure with being told that there is something wrong with me because I am offended by a naked breast with a child gnawing on it while I am trying to eat my expensive dinner. There is something wrong with YOU for feeling the need to make assumptions about someone you don't know. I love all people. There are a lot of behaviors that are natural to animals that, as intelligent, organized beings, humans don't do in public. Pooping is also a very natural act (which can be a very beautiful experience, too. ) But, as civilized beings, we don't do it in public view of others who are eating. A dog would, a monkey would, a cat would, but not a human.

I realize this is an old topic but I feel that Wendy was a bit out of line. I can understand why SwearBear would be ticked off. poor, poor choice of words. "something is wrong with you" - Who here hasn't heard that old line?

A similar thing was posted about breast feeding at a table at a wedding reception here. yes, yes, yes. I know that babies need to eat. but I dont feel it is appropriate to look over and see boobs hanging out in a classy restaurant.

I do find it gross but let me explain how I feel. people are in a place where there is food. people want to eat in a sterile environment and bodily fluids of any sort should not be released where there is food or people are eating. what if there is a dribble and it gets on the table? the next person will have their napkin (which will touch their mouth!) on the table. that is not sanitary. And it doesn't whet my appetite.
my motto is, as I said in the wedding reception breast feeding post, "please keep bodily fluids on the inside while at the dinner table."

swearbear......you are great I agree with your point of view, and I cracked up reading your post because you have a unique way of putting things.

Marie.....I agree. Babies need to eat, but there are ways to take care of the baby's needs so as not to disturb the other diners. One option....how about feeding the baby before entering the restaurant? I would think the baby would be somewhat on a feeding schedule. There are many ways to afford some discretion and privacy if some thought is put into the fact that mother and child are entering a public place.

wendy......You are certainly entitled to your opinion like everyone else. Disagree if that is how you feel and tell us about it, but please don't personally attack someone for having a different way of thinking. Just as you want to be respected for your point of view, please respect other people who are kind enough to take the time to post here.

Breastfeeding gets everyone up in a tizzy, whether you do it or not. My sister is afraid every time she makes a bottle of formula for her baby in public, people will be on her for NOT breastfeeding (which she has decided she doesn't want to do). My aunt even asked me about it, not wanting to question her. "Why doesn't she want to breastfeed, everyone knows 'breast is best.'" I've sort of become the anti-breastfeeding advocate for my sister, promising to run off any nurse or doctor that tries to push the issue with her in the hospital. I just told my aunt, "She isn't comfortable with the idea of it, and that's that. Besides, just because 'breast is best' doesn't me 'formula is poison.' The kid will be fine."

No one is ever going to be happy in the end.

-D.

These are the type of people that get in my crawl!

So they feel they've the right to do whatever they want and gripe and complain until they do leaving a crashing trail behind them just to show the world they can.

Selfish! That's something that can go in theirs

Me personally, don't want to see your boob while I'm dining!

Consideration goes both ways and I truly believe, what goes around comes around in one form or another...

A person that goes out of their way to have theirs, down to calling a headquarter about something that is legitimately something not everyone wants to see and an image even if you get it by accident that's hard to erase, ends up often with children that are embarrassed to be around them as they grow up as they recognize the uncomfortability they press upon everyone else and rebels.

Force is a short-term thrill, even if your get your way temporarily. Consideration, well that lasts a lifetime!

I'm going to post without reading through this entire thread, so sorry if I repeat anything. I'd really rather not see a woman breastfeeding in a restaurant. If it's covered up nice with a blanket or a pretty scarf, I have no problem- but having everything out in the open? I really think the breastfeeding mother was in the wrong here. The fact that there was a nearby nursing room makes me say this. If I'm not allowed to show my naked boobs in public, I don't think I should have to see hers either.