BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids So happy to be CF - the Proof

I already knew that I didn't want to have kids, but now I have the proof, not that I needed any. See, I was never really exposed to kids growing up so for a while I thought, I don't want any because I don't really know what it's like to be around them, but maybe if I get the chance, I'll change my mind; I might find I want one. So that was kind of bothering me because I made my decision based mostly on my feelings and not actual fact.

But as you know my sister had a baby last year and my brother just had a baby too. So I've been around their babies every time we gather, like today. And I noticed nothing about parenthood interests me, absolutely nothing, although the actual babies are soooo sooo cute and I can't get enough of them, especially my nephew - he's a Gerber baby.
The conversations are soooo boring, their lives revolve around their kids (more like their lives are controlled by their kids), they don't take care of themselves, they look and act tired and stressed. Their apartments are littered with toys, cribs, strollers, pampers, screaming and crying, etc. Ewww! And, -and this is the MOST revealing thing to me-: THEY DON'T LOOK HAPPY. I mean, in the sense that having a child is supposed to make you oh-so-happy (and worth it).

So it's not so much the actual babies that I dislike, but the lifestyle. I came home with my husband and was like Ahhhhh!! My Space, my Time, my Life, my beautiful Fish! I've never appreciated my life so much.

Now I'm 100% sure, I'll never doubt myself again!

Good for you!

I too love babies. but as they say, I couldn't eat a whole one....;-D

Oooo I love your post! I feel like I could have written it. I, too, like babies and kids. Last weekend I was at my boyfriend's parents' lakehouse with some of his family incl. nieces and nephs. One was 8 months, the other 3 yrs old. They were even well-behaved, cute. No tantrums. But the conversations?!?! OMG. Every, every, every time one of us brought something up, it came back to the kids. OR they interrupted (again, not in a overly rude way, just by being kids) the conversation. I also noticed how snippy the brother and his wife were w/each other. Now maybe it was because the youngest was a preemie and there is still some stress after so many months of him being in the hospital. Maybe it was because they were away from home for 3 days. But they were tired and easily annoyed at the other. It was sad to see that. :( We got in the car after 2.5 days to come back home and were both like "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh". I got home and napped, loved on my cat, watched bad tv, surfed the nets, made a nice dinner. All things that I either would not be able to do or would have taken twice as long w/kids. I have to give the parents some credit. Maybe this will bring them closer in the long run. But I don't think I could do it. The stress, the unknowns, the stress, the stress. I'm sure I'd figure it out somehow, but knowing I don't have to is sure nice! ;)

It is a wonderful thing when somebody knows herself and says, "Not me! Nope."

That is a far better thing than casually having a kid that you don't want.

I've worked with too many kids who were just tolerated. There have been too many kids who were actively disliked by their parents. That's no way for anybody to live.

I agree Connie. It breaks my heart to see unloved kids.

when I worked as a policewoman, I used to get really upset at the number of women ( young girls ) who were on the 'at risk register', the ones while pregnant, the baby would be taken away at birth, because they couldn't cope, because of drugs / drink / previous abuse of a child etc.
Not to mention the kids that were 'dragged up'.

I think instead of promoting how great kids are, there should be more education in schools of the reality ( and responsability of raising children. - not just birth control, but the reality of bringing up a child.
Then surely the ones who would love kids will become certain and excited that that's what they want, and the others will think more about the implications.

And while I'm having a rant - I've just read in the paper today about a single mother with 11 kids, who's never worked, and gets �2000 in benefits a month.
One comment is ' and she still managed to squirrel away �1600 for a breast enlargement, and bought a sunbed....'

Aaaaaahhhh !!! And the govt. wonder why normal working Brits are leaving in droves, and others are piling in to get the freebies.

Ok. breathe. I kind of went off subject.
Am going to cuddle my cat and stop reading the newspapers now.