BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Anyone agree ?

My thoughts -
Women fall in love........men fall in lust.
Men do not know what love is.
Is a woman supposed to believe that her man loves her even though he NEVER tells her? His friends seem to be more important than she does....he spends so much time with his buddies, and a lot of time talking to them on the phone. He never buys her gifts (not that it's an important issue, but it would be nice to know he thinks of her once in a while). He buys every toy he wants. He doesn't show any affection, except a quick roll in the sack on occassion and only cares about his satisfaction. They get along like 'friends' most of the time, but of course there's a difference of opinion on some issues.

Any thoughts ?

I always thought in my own naive way that men do fall in love, like the movies and romance books brainwash us into thinking. I only know of a few really good marriages where I think that the men must really be in love with their women, so I am not so sure that most men know what "falling in love" means, or what "commitment" means for that matter.

I was married twice and both times the men seemed to want something else after a period of time. Both times I did not want a divorce. I was IN LOVE. Evidently, both of these men were not. Now I am in a so-called committed relationship with my boyfriend. I am in love with him. Is he in love with me? No. And he has admitted that. He loves me for the good person that I am, and I know he lusted after me in the beginning of our relationship (put a few pounds on thanks to stress and see what happens), but I don't think he will ever be in love with me.

We have been through a lot of life's challenges in the past year that should have brought us much closer, but to this day he still is not in love with me. He has said that he is not sure he ever was in love with anyone but maybe once, to a college sweetheart years ago who broke off the relationship. My boyfriend was married and with that same woman for 13 years, and he says he was not in love with her either, but he cared about her and loved her in his own way.

I think a lot of men are just not capable of the levels of feeling love and giving love the way we women want in our relationships. Lust for them is easy. Loving is an entirely different matter.

I had to move out of my boyfriend's house last night, spent the night in the car which is in my name thank goodness. Just wanted you to know that I will be focusing on relocating back to Florida as the only reason I moved here was to be with him.

Sometimes we as women IGNORE the "red flags" because we want to be with someone really badly.

I got a room for the night at EconoLodge and using a computer they have for guests. God is SO GOOD, they even have a complimentary breakfast - so you know I had some

Anyway, trying not to "stress" as I really have no idea how I am going to pull this off and just grateful to have at least one night of "safety"...

Trying not to cry. He has an alcohol and drug problem and had been in Orlando for a week's vacation with his family. Came back yesterday with 2 of his nephews (ages 4 and about 14) knowing we have no food as it is and the electric bill is way overdue. It is like he spends everything at one time - makes good money! For 3 years I have looking the other way. I do have $187.16 to my name and trusting God with how to move forward. Lance, Inc. wants me back at 8am on Monday and I am hoping the agency will call me with work today or Sunday as I did not work Monday or Tuesday.

Thanks,
Angela

cream pie......As far as the situation you are describing, it sounds like this man definitely is not in love, and may not even care all that much for this woman. He sounds like a very self-centered and selfish man, and this woman needs to move on to a more rewarding relationship, at the very least.

Sounds like they are just friends, if that, and if they live together then they are just room-mates. I certainly wouldn't say they are a committed couple in love with each other. Any love in that relationship is all one-sided, with the woman doing all the caring. She needs to pitch his rear to the curb.

Angela, so sorry to hear that you are having such a difficult time.

I don't know why we women as a whole settle for so much less than we deserve and we stay in relationships that are not healthy for us. We always wish for the best, look for the good in our men, and offer them more chances than we should for them to get themselves together and act like adults. In your situation you had to get out, and I hope that you do stay out for your own health and well being.

Please know that I am thinking of you, and I hope that you will find some opportunity to keep in touch with us here. I care, and I wish you a safe transition to a better situation.

Well, I'm a man - and I can promise you - we DO fall in love. The problem I find, is that people, including myself will fall in love and ignore every sign that the person isn't in love with us. Then you see them with someone else and they're in love.

One of my friends just broke up with her long term b/f and he was devistated. She'd cheated on him over and over, but he kept taking her back because he loved her. I was friends with both of them - and still am. He's still devistated and broke down crying when she told him it was over. She never really loved him though - and when I asked her why? She told me it was because "he's just too nice."

I think a lot of women are drawn to the wrong type of guy. Like going for the jocks instead of the quiet guy.

I think both women and men fall in love and both fall in lust too. Some men are more sexually driven than women, I agree, and that can get them in trouble. So stay away from them. We all see the signs - but we have those blinkers on.

Sorry to hear of the hardships here - they sound very tragic. I hope everything improves for everyone

Men do, as much as women, fall in love. Women do, as much as men, fall in lust. I am reminded of that one song, 'You can't make a heart love somebody'. I think many in the meantime, find something valuable in a relationship they are in. Sometimes though, some unconsciously feel they do not deserve to have a great love. Consciously it will be a different story (things usually don't work out for this reason or that). When they do find that, it is so powerful, it feels 'strange'. But there is no other way to receive it as it deserves to be known.