BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids telling family about vasectomy?

I feel I should point out that the odds of women in your country having less children with chromosomal abnormalities isn't because they are less likely to get them, it's simply because more women there are probably less likely to continue with the pregnancy. The odds of it occurring are the same. Even with an amnio though, many women here in the U.S. still choose to have the baby (like Sarah Palin). I'm sure it's rooted in our country's religious background. Same goes for these teenage girls having kids here. Last figure I heard, it was 1 in 3 teenage girls will end up pregnant (of course, this could be including up to age 19, and also pregnant doesn't have to mean they actually end up giving birth). I know Europe in general is better about giving the public access to birth control, but I'd like to see your teen "pregnancy" rate compared to teen "birth rate." I have a feeling more teen girls there opt for abortion rather than actually giving birth. Too bad abortion is such a taboo here in the U.S.. So many young girls lives are ruined.

Good point, Dolyn, getting pregnant is not the same as actually having a child. I think that might affect the statistics about teenage pregnancy. I think what I read was actually having the child, but I'm not sure anymore. I read it long ago.

I didn't say that in my country there are less odds of having a child with Down syndrome. The information I mentioned, I got it from some websites in English, probably even American and it was not about nationalities, it was a general thing. That is is why it struck me a as a lot more optimistic than Mistalia's. And of course it was about the odds of eventually having a child with Down syndrom at certain ages, not about how many women actually give birth . I don't know the ratio of women actually having these children. But I know in Europe their numbers have dropped drastically since prenatal diagnosis is accessible to everybody.

its not anyones business when someone gets a v snip..unless you want to tell someone.

Yes, that's true, jcorvette.

LOL, some men have to tell your mother EVERYTHING Sad! This should be between him and his lady...

While I definitely agree regarding the fact that it's a private issue, I also like that if someone would choose to harass hubby or i we could probably shut them up IMMEDIATELY by saying we CAN'T because of it...

I've had no problem telling my family - my mom, brother, both sets of grandparents were supportive of my decision. The only one that "bingoed" me was my dad - I think that he had his heart set on grandchildren...and now, since my brother is gay, and I've decided not to have any, he seems a bit disappointed about it. I was amazed that he'd just write my brother off like that...I've met a few gay couples that were parents...and terrific parents at that. Although, it would surprise me if my brother became a parent at all...his temperament isn't the ideal for a parent to have (impatient, stubborn, short fuse).
My husband's family, however, is a different story. His brother and sister-in-law know, but he's kindly asked them not to tell ANYONE else - not his sister, not his uncle, and ESPECIALLY not his mother. I hate having to dance around it, but hubby is certain that if his mother learns of her favorite son's vasectomy, it will break her heart. She has enough health problems as it is - this revelation would just aggravate them. If hubby's sister is told, then the sister will definitely blab to step-dad or uncle, so we've decided to treat her like a mushroom: keep her in the dark and feed her on sh*t.
I assume that hubby's mom felt like she'd be surrounded by the children of her 3 offspring - but she's only gotten 2 so far, by hubby's brother. Hubby's sister has been rather adamant about avoiding motherhood, so it looks like two grandchildren is all she's going to get. It would just be CRUEL to take that hope away from her.
I just hope that she doesn't get aggressive with trying to persuade me to have kids. I, like my brother, have a short fuse also, so I might spill the beans without intending to. Glad I only go over there once every six months, with hubby, for the obligatory visit. :P

My parents,grandmother, sister,hubby's and my best friends, and father-in-law all know at this point. Something occurred to me while reading your post. no one ever says or thinks, " I'd better not let so and so find out about having a child." So why be this way about not having a child? I do understand the deal with your mother in law, though.Some things are better left unsaid, just to keep it simple for ourselves. my father in law has advised us not to bother discussing it with my mother in law (they're divorced) because she'd only get upset. Well she has no right because it isn't her business!Still, I will keep my mouth shut..lol. Hubby is only close with his father anyway. We all have those people who will ask and my lastest respone to the presumptuous "When" question is, "I guess you'll have to wait and see." haha!