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#684942 05/07/11 11:28 PM
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Have you ever noticed that siblings quarrel all the time. Do you think it will ever end? or Have you worked out the perfect solution to this? Let me know your secret! wall

Last edited by TCW; 05/07/11 11:29 PM.

Tuculia Washington, Daughters Editor
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What I did notice this weekend while we were away camping is that the quarreling practically stopped.
The moment we entered back into our home - it started up again. smile

I do try to redirect their quarreling and model more appropriate ways to say what they are saying... and I make them repeat it after me to practice. heh.

Sometimes, I just let them work it out themselves. If they can't work it out - whatever they are quarreling about becomes mine for awhile.

I realize that they need to grow into proper communication and that some quarreling is developmentally appropriate... but I still can't stand it.


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I agree. What drives me crazy the most is when they go from playing with each other to quarreling and then back to playing in minutes. You've gota love it! And yes, I agree they need to grow into proper communication, but it drives me crazy! Thanks for sharing!


Tuculia Washington, Daughters Editor
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I agree, Tuculia! That's why I never get invested in my kids' arguments. I tell them to work it out, unless bloodshed is involved. I know that I'll get involved, try to legislate the outcome, interfere where they really don't want me, and they'll be fine with each other soon. It's a no win for a mom!


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I love it Laura!


Tuculia Washington, Daughters Editor
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I often tell people my kids are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. It's difficult to live day in and day out with someone--especially someone you didn't choose to live with--and not get annoyed or frustrated with that person. The coping, communication and social skills of children are still evolving so they often have anti-social ways of working out their differences and frustrations.

When my children were younger, I got involved more often because they needed help working out their differences in healthy, socially acceptable ways. I also have two children who did not "catch" social skills but had to be taught. As they have grown older, I get involved when asked or if it is escalating to a point where intervention is necessary.

I have, on occasion, required two children to sit on the couch holding hands until they can either agree to disagree or make up. When appropriate, I have also required that the offender find something nice to do for the offended by the end of the day. I also talk to my kids and listen to them. Just the other day one of my sons told me that one of the ways he knows he can trust me is because I truly listen. If I cannot find an equitable solution or my children are asking my to choose one over the other, I tell them as much.

All of the above is often successful, but not always. Our successes probably have a lot to do with personalities and family dynamics than anything. I have tried a lot of things over the years and kept what works for us.


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Thank you for saying this because most parents need to hear things are for siblings in every houshold!


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My daughters, now grown, were the best of friends and worst of enemies as well. Sometime during the teens, they sort of bonded in a joint understanding that their parents were the real ODD ones in the family.

Because we didn't allow TONS of friend times & activities outside the family, they became companions and friends. While they weren't allowed to hang at the mall with their friends on Saturday night, they were given money and the car to go to the movies together on Saturday afternoon.

There are still sibling issues, but also good sibling memories.

Just a word of hope... you will survive. :-)

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I used to quarrel with my younger sister quite a bit. But both of us married now and living apart kind of helps in the sense that we tend to share things to talk about. I guess we're just not meant to live under one roof.

Lynsaf #703922 07/27/11 05:42 AM
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Sometimes sibling rivalry carries over into adulthood. I have seen that happen many times. And I do think personality plays into it as well.
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