Really great thread - so right, cassie ! As for the keeping silent, Lori I wouldn't be able to, ( unless it's one of those moments when you think of a fab comment after the event )
I liked your reply anyway, Dolyn, but I would have been more direct, like ' do you think all childfree people are irresponsible or unable to care for a child ? ' put them on the spot, because otherwise, how are we going to change the idea of others that, it is actually a 'choice' of normal, happy, intelligent, educated people who just ( wow ! ) don't want kids...
Hubby and I were talking about this the other day ( he had a daughter at 21, and she's 33 now ) and he said having a child is 70 / 30 split. 70% really challenging and difficult,( that was politely put ) and 30% great moments.
As you say, some people just 'live' for their kids - think, sleep and breathe them, and that's fine.
But I think the majority have them because it's expected, it's a womans 'rite of passage ( God, I hate that phrase ) and then realise it's not all it's cracked up to be.
My step daughter normally rings when there's a crisis - her last phone call was to ask hubby if her gran would give her a loan of �2000. - at least she knows we don't give her money anymore, but imagine - she's still considering asking her 85 yr old gran who's on a pension ( although she knows she has a few thousand 'saved for her rainy day ' for a 'loan' which would never be paid back.
The annoying thing is, we are considered broken or lacking in some way, and it's hard not to get defensive with these comments.
It's impossible to reason with ignorance or the blind faith of some that 'everyone must have kids,' but I think the idea must be challenged when it comes up that here is an alternative life. - and it's gooood !
