BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Thoughts from a newbie

Hi Violet,
Welcome to the forum. This has been my sanity place for the better part of a year when I was trapped amongst women who ALL were in Mommy mode. I am thankful that part of my life is recently over!

I'm thinking you must be in your late 20's to mid 30's to be now losing alot of your friends. It will take some time to sort through it all. You may retain one or two of these women as occaisional friends but you are right in that you largely lose these people to Mommydom.

We all deal in different ways but finding a path to connect to other women who have chosen to be CF will be a very good and rich exprience. Not unlike the friendships that get forged through crisis because we CF women are all under various forms of siege. We can understand each other in ways that even our mothers, sisters, long time friends can't understand.

Happy to have you here!

Hey, catluvgal - just out of interest, when you say the part of your life is recently over, relating to being surrounded by women in mommy mode, how did you do it !
are the kids a little older, and the mothers start their moaning phase, and mourning the baby that's now a screaming toddler ? or did you just move away socially from them ?

Monique - really sad about your miscarriage, but I agree with the others, don't feel browed down by family shoving their offspring as the light to eternal happiness - we all know it's not, no matter how hard they try and make it. misery loves company.
but if you do have to be around them at family gatherings, I used to keep the visits short, and have a really good excuse for leaving - and it normally involved something much more fun and exciting than sitting round talking about other peoples children ( even if it is family ), and clapping with amusement when the newest member burped.

I know just what you mean! I have lost several good friends to babyland as well. And I have to say, even though some of them have gotten their kids to school age and we do get to see each other and hang out occasionally, it's just not the same. I am free to be spontaneous, and it's just not in the scope of reality for my friends with small children. Money, time and geographic location at the moment are all wrapped up in their kids, and it is very limiting for them. On the upside, I THINK I'm at the point in life where those friends who are going to reproduce have done it, so it's at least starting to get more predictable. I know who my child-free friends are, and I can pretty much bank on them. One last thing, (this is venting) I don't know if I can listen to one more "cute thing my kid said" story, especially when the grown person I'm talking to wants to immitate said cute thing in a baby voice with W's for R's and all that. Makes me want to vomit. (end of venting)