BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Age differences

Do you think age matters in marriage? Is there a large age gap between you and your spouse? Does it work? What are the challenges?

My husband is three years older than I am. Not a big deal at all. Still the same generation so we can share a lot of social generation stuff (music, etc.)

I have a friend whose wife is so much younger that she doesn't get half his social references or jokes. It bugs him since he has a comical nature and she doesn't laugh much.

That must make the relationship very tense and difficult. How do they find that bonding that is so essential to married couples?

Generally, I think big age differences do not matter very much. But, in my experience of knowing couples with a big age gap, it is usually when the woman is older that the relationship works so well. If the man is older by many years, as is the case with your friend, it seems more difficult to bond.

We have been together for 8 years and we met 20 years ago in passing and again in the grocery store. Which then we exchanged numbers because I had just moved into my house and I was looking for someone to help me with my grounds and it turned out that that was what he did. The rest was history. We dated for 4 years(because I have 4 children and I wanted to make sure they were going to like him) and then he asked if I would consider marrying a older. After making him wait for 4 years having him come over for dinner on occasion, and sporting events for the kids and then again movie nights with the kids. I figured if he could survive my single mom schedule with 4 kids, working and continued asking while waiting for 4 years, I should consider something. I, after 4 times of him asking, asked him would he consider marrying me, and of course he said yes (but that it took me long enough). Thanks for asking!

Lori,

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to you, too, Tuculia!

And I haven't had a chance to post lately but I am so happy to hear about your marriage success! What a wonderful story!

That is what I love about marriages. They are as unique as the individuals that comprise them. I love to hear how unions of all types make it work.

You're right. It's the heart that matters.

My folks have like 7 years between them with my dad being younger then my mom and they meet later on in life and it was several years before I came into their lives (an unexpected blessing as my mom's calls me). They've now been married over 40 years. My husband and I on the other hand are 13 months and 3 days apart in age, he's older. He's actually the first person I dated who was even close to my age, most people I was dating where a good 15 to 20 years my senior (oldest was almost 30 years my senior and I didn't know it till he introduced me to his eldest daughter jaw drop, needless to day that didn't last beyond that point at all - not that its a bad age gap, it just wasn't a relationship based on truth and respect as I had first thought). Anyhow, to me age is just a number it doesn't mean much when a couple work together well enough that less something comes up that they can't understand where the other is coming from because of the difference in age being the key factor. Though it can also be a religious factor that can be why some don't get along regardless of the age factor.