BellaOnline Forums Relationships Divorce Think it is over but i am not sure

my husband and i have been struggling in this relationship or i have been because he thinks i over react to everything. We are married less than four years with a two and a half year old child. We reside in different areas yet there are times that we promise each other that we must be together eg.anniversary childs birthday etc. for the first two years it seemed to work however everything seem to get in the way now. i make every effort to keep my end of the promise however when comes to him he gets there but on his own time.he has said that i take marriage too serious and his attitude is of indifference. Our child is sick with a lung condition and he has stated that he cannot be there for the next six weeks because he is commited to playing with his band for the next six weeks. i find that to be unacceptable and unforgivable and feel that he is selfish and has no regards for his family. I have ask him on several occasions if he wants out of the marriage but he constantly says that he loves his family and wants his marriage> i also ask if there is another woman because he sure shows signs that he has loyalty elsewhere but he keeps denying that he does. How do i continue after he has treate dour child in that manner

Get some counseling and then decide if you still want to stay married to him.

Bottom line, he may never change

Hi Wantpeace welcome

You know? After reading through your post your last question, "How do I continue...?"

There is more strength than you know. You don't say how do I go on or what is there to live for, it's straight forward and that says a lot about mom!

In short, the man who states he doesn't want to end their marriage but constantly acts in a way that discounts his words, at least for the time being, his drive is elsewhere.

Have you ever watched a dog race? I hate them actually, but they put this "dingy" thing that goes round the track that is just out of reach for the dogs chasing it...

I was going to say if not for your child then yourself, but for your child and yourself, why make this a reality for the two of you?

Your child is 2 1/2 years? And, the father doesn't know who he is or what he wants? 10 years from now your child will be going into teenage years. As strong a mother you are, gift him your best qualities.

If he (the father) when he, should he (so many variables) find emptiness in whatever he's doing now or chasing, you'll know. He'll pursue you and your child as much as he's pursuing this other end.

You've already seen him go full-force out what is imortant to him and if it isn't you two, join strengths with your child and build a life of serenity and direction.

Until then your husband still doesn't know what he wants enough to know and fight for his family, while you do. You can teach your child to put his efforts into something that WILL be there for him the next day, week, years to come, instead of chasing something that may never be caught or has to decide whether or not it's worth their time.

I vote you and your son!

I grew up with a father who I know never wanted to be where he was in his life. What's most important is whats best for your child... they deserve to have parents who are entirely committed to them.

if the relationship won't work then you have the right to have divorce. reason such as the other person hurts you physically and emotionally, cheating and negligence of the relationship have good reasons for separation of divorce.

Going through a divorce can be stressful upsetting and feel like your whole world is falling down around you. As well as the emotional issues there are practical things to deal with and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and out of your depth.