BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Not feeling good enough

Please don't think I'm weird. I have had self-esteem problems most of my life and I feel like I'm not good enough to be apart of anything or things that my friends and relatives have been apart of. I have never been asked to be in weddings, baptisms, similar events. I always had some hope that friends or relatives would include me but no one as ever included me. I feel ugly and feel worthless to friends and family. I have tried many times to always be there for them and I have done my best to show that I care for them a lot. I'm starting to hate them all and I don't want to. I wish they would all just tell me I'm not and I was never good enough to be apart of their special events. All I ever wanted to feel special at least a few times in my life.

Hi Jennab, from what you say you are wondering:

1) How to deal with your lifelong self-esteem problems. This article may help to get you started:
Self-Worth : How To Increase It

2) How to feel special. This article should help you to realise that this is already within you:
What is Your Unique Talent ?

I try to feel that I do have talents but nobody in my life other than my parents acknowledges them. None of my friends or relatives have ever care enough to include in a special event.

Hi Jennab, when your happiness depends on what others think, you will never be really happy or truly content. At some point in your life you will begin to feel proud about what you can do - irrespective of what others say or don't say. (JOY)

Its not weird to feel that way and i dont think any of us would think your weird :) Firslty, your parents acknowledge your talents so dont ever take for granted that you have parents that recognise how great you are because alot of people dont have that. Take the positive in this that your parents think you are great and see the side they do :) I agree with joy also that your hapiness cannot depend on what other people think. Is it maybe possible that when you know an event is coming up that you get the mindset of "heres another event i wont be a part of" Sometimes when we have a mindset which is a little negative like this, our actions that result from this mindset often are percieved by others that you may not want to take part in the event. Perhaps this is why they dont ask you? Not saying it is, but it may be a contributing factor. Maybe when the next event comes along, you can ask the person, how can i help out? What can i do to be a part of the special day because you mean alot to me! That way they know you are excited to be involved :)

im sorry to hear that. and i agree whit JOY who said 'when your happiness depends on what others think, you will never be really happy or truly content.'

Yes I too agree with Joy and polarbear, make your own happiness. Find new friends, and ask to be invited to events, maybe they think you don't want to be part of it.

No one is 'ugly' we are all different and beauty comes from within. Love yourself first.

[quote=Linda - Islam]Yes I too agree with Joy and polarbear, make your own happiness. Find new friends, and ask to be invited to events, maybe they think you don't want to be part of it. No one is 'ugly' we are all different and beauty comes from within. Love yourself first. [/quote] I do get invited to events. I never get asked to have a part in them.

[quote=LeadershipDevelopment]Its not weird to feel that way and i dont think any of us would think your weird :) Firslty, your parents acknowledge your talents so dont ever take for granted that you have parents that recognise how great you are because alot of people dont have that. Take the positive in this that your parents think you are great and see the side they do :) I agree with joy also that your hapiness cannot depend on what other people think. Is it maybe possible that when you know an event is coming up that you get the mindset of "heres another event i wont be a part of" Sometimes when we have a mindset which is a little negative like this, our actions that result from this mindset often are percieved by others that you may not want to take part in the event. Perhaps this is why they dont ask you? Not saying it is, but it may be a contributing factor. Maybe when the next event comes along, you can ask the person, how can i help out? What can i do to be a part of the special day because you mean alot to me! That way they know you are excited to be involved :)[/quote] I always try to be positive and helpful around friends and family with the hope that I would get asked to be a bridesmaid or godmother.