BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Don't Get Marry?

[quote=Kat1980]Instead of asking "why get married if you don't want kids" you should be asking those questions seperately. Why get married? Why have kids? Those are questions that too many people never think about before jumping into marriage and parenting. [/quote] WHY don't people WAKE the H up and look around them! Unmarried people are having kids all around us??? *gasp* Why are people still subscribing to this old belief that you MUST have kids to get married when CLEARLY there are GLARING examples of the contrary in just about every direction you look (or channel you flip to *lol*). That belief should have already gone the way of the dowry a really long time ago. People no longer have kids for free employees to work on the farm (at least in this country), and people no longer marry EXCLUSIVELY to secure a breeding partner.

Leesandra, are you LawyerGal / FriendlyGal under yet another name? You sure sound like her. If not, my apologies.

"I am just curious and am not sure why you would marry and not have kids."

I'm in 100% agreement with these responses to these questions

-Personally marriage; it's about love, pure and simple.

-Instead of asking "why get married if you don't want kids" you should be asking those questions separately. Why get married? Why have kids? Those are questions that too many people never think about before jumping into marriage and parenting.

-Perhaps the specialness of it (marriage) also lies in that it isn't required anymore.

Granted, Just as in all other areas; the most important decisions in life, culture: may and I'm sure does play a role in how people think, feel and ultimately; why each individual makes their choices.

In 2011 in the United States Women and Men alike (have the option to) choose colleges'. Then (have the option to) choose what profession is appropriate for them. What isn't optional however; is having a means of survival, period.
All of the rest of our decisions are strictly on an individual basis.

- What city/ country one will live in.

- What hobbies and interests one will participate in.

- How one will maintain contact with those they are closest to emotionally; Sharing of blood-line involvement or not.

All people Men and Women alike; have every right to choose; to have a happy and fulfilled life within or outside of a permanent commitment to another, Including the option of having children.

This is freedom of great measure, choosing what suits your life: to your utmost fulfillment. Choose what brings you the most happiness in your life. It is a fact; that the more each individual is fulfilled, happy and vivacious the more each individual has to then share, give back and teach the rest of the population!

Ahh.. Breath it in deeply, it�s called being authentic, authentically who you are! (In my opinion) the largest responsibility we have in life!

Cheers,and many blessings to you. Sincerely, Laughs

I never had a desire to get married. I like my freedom.

Thisiseasy...that's exactly how I feel. I never want to get married.

I completely agree! Why get married period. Been there done that twice. Completely over-rated institution and who wants to be in a institution!!

Been with my current man nearly 6 years now and neither one of us has ever expressed a desire to marry and we're happy. I can't stand it that people at my work constantly ask me about it. I don't ask them why they don't have kids (many of them have been married for year with no kids) so why do they insist on asking me this.

Why are people always so concerned about those who choose not to conform to the norm. Somebody asked my boyfriend the other day if we would ever have kids of our own (he has 3 with ex and I have one from my second marriage). He said he was completely shocked by this question. I am too. What is people's deal! Sorry, on a bit of rant today : )

I'm not marrying again either. I got married the first time because he asked, lol. 14 years later, he asked for a divorce, so I got divorced. I'm not all that broken up about it anymore like I was at first. I realize that I actually enjoy being single and do not need a husband. I am also in a relationship now with a man who has no children and no desire to marry. It's kind of nice in my opinion. He has his little house, and I have my little apartment. We have our own corners so to speak and do not feel pressure at all from our friends or families.

Some people may call me selfish or immature, but this is just the way it's going to be. When you've been burned badly in a marriage, it is very hard to think about doing it again.

Yeah. We all know there are pros and cons to getting married vs. not getting married. For some who have done marriage and it hasn't worked out, I can see why you wouldn't be chomping at the bit to do it again. For me, I was reluctant to marry, but it's turning out better than I ever expected.

Either way, I think we would all agree that the expectation of children isn't required for two people to want to be married. Getting married is about love and the desire to build a life together, regardless of whether children will be a part of that life.

I think Leesandra is missing the point that a lot of divorces are couples who were never in love in the first place, but thought they were. You know that saying "if you have to ask if you are in love then you aren't"? Well a lot of people get married still wondering if what they are feeling is actually love. No wonder they then get divorced when they meet someone they actually love.

However, what Leesandra and LawyerGirl (who I realise now I had come across before and is clearly a troll) is that their husband is MORE likely to leave them if they have children. That's the FACT. It's backed up by the statistics in just about every country in this world we live in! It's not cultural, it's not a race thing, it's just humanity. Have children and you're MORE likely to end up divorced. End of debate! :-)

And yes, Leesandra and LawyerGirl, that does mean your husband might leave you even when you've given him his precious children. No chance of my partner and I breaking up because we realise that relationships take work and we have the TIME to put that work into them.