BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids people BLINDLY having kids w/o resources...

Sorry to misquote Misstalia. This is a bit of a goofy system. And, no, there is NO government funding for abortion. That's a federal law. It's causing a lot of problems with proposed govt. healthcare initiatives.

I am in total agreement with catluvgals post.
I too am angry that my common sense and forethought make me worse off.
In other words, I've never had benefits - always worked to support myself. Never had child support, income support, nor any of the other benefits doled out en masse - to the masses - who are happy to sit back and take.

Now there's a whole argument about those that really need - disabled, those truely on hard times, and those genuinely incapable of obtaining a higher than minimum wage, I'm not talking about those obvious genuine needs, which I believe society as a whole should take care of.
AND if it's done properly, society as a whole would barely feel the impact.

No. What I am angry about is how the middle class - ( or hard working, working class, however it's called now ) are becoming the most put upon in order to pay for the non working, benefit grabbing 'under class.'
I used to work shifts, and when I was younger it was great having a week day rest day, because there was noone about. everyone was at work. so going shopping, etc. was great - so very quiet.
The last ten years or more ? packed , every day.
They can't all be on shift work :-) and the hordes of young mothers screaming at their poor unfortunates, cigarette in hand just leaves me in despair ( actually one of the reasons we left the UK )

Now I'm not putting the blame solely on mothers popping out child after child, but years ago, when, if you were a single mother, you got the new house, fully furnished, with benefits to live on, it created a monster.
Society as a whole seems to believe that a child is the responsability of everyone - immediate family, as said here, to provide money, time, and shelter if needed, and the rest of us to support them. why would I expect others to support a choice I make, to the financial detriment of those others ?

I really can't understand the mentality, and at worst, smacks of arrogance.

why would intelligent women have kids without thinking through their future - and their kids' future ?

Maybe things will change ? but I feel we are in the minority.

what irritates me the most, is the fact that women readily have sex (without protection, and who can't readily access protection) and then end up with a child then complain. Well...if I can abstain from sex...why can't they? It's always been a huge pet peeve, how girls whine about "how could this happen to me?" well it wouldn't if you'd taken 1. proper precautions or 2. just said NO!

I'm also aware that condoms are readily available to just about anyone with 5 bucks in hand. Even birth control is $9 at walmart! Not to mention we have several doctors who have "sliding fees" which normally if you're unemployed or receiving unemployment you'll only have to pay $20. I'm sure someone in their family can afford to loan them $34 bucks. If it means they'll be safe against STD's and unwanted pregnancy.

It just bothers me that these twits are so careless then they whine and complain about the pregnancy symptoms. Well, that wouldn't have happened if you kept you legs closed long enough to take the proper steps! It just irks me to no end, then they get all proud about their little "mistake" and they probably don't even know who the father is to begin with. Which bothers me even more.

I just think, that if through my life I could have been careful, and been smart about all this, why can't they? Funny thing is, people talk about "teen pregnancy" but they still shove them up on a high horse as "future mothers". While their egos inflate, I'm suck at the lowest wrong as a "selfish childless" woman of 24. Just irks me, gah!

A woman or even a fairly young girl can get very inexpensive (less cost than that cellphone bill) at local clinics, university clinics or planned parenthood. Regardless of anyone's views on abortion, there are far too many people who are not taking responsibility for their reproduction and think the rest of us should pay to take care of them and their kids.

OR... and here's a thought. If a gal can't get birth control and doesn't want to be pregnant, she could avoid having sex. (Shock, horror!) Just sayin'!

You all couldn't be more correct. It's absolutely irrational to argue "wah wah wah, woe is me, I'm pregnant! I don't know how this happened." Bullsh*t you don't know. 5-year-olds know about sex these days and it's insulting to me when women become pregnant and then act like a victim (unless they really are a victim of rape, but that is rarely the case). You are not a victim. You need to be responsible for your own darn actions and quit creating more people. There are too many people as it is. The earth can barely support the masses now. So to get pregnant "by accident" is simply unacceptable. So if you're so darn barbaric that you can't say no to unprotected sex once in a while, then be on BC. Birth control is FREE at local clinics as far as I know in the states that I've lived. They need to do us all a favor and use it.

Too right KC2500! My friend had a girlfriend who "claimed" to be raped by her previous boyfriend. She tried to play it off as if she was a victim, and seriously you can't rape the willing. I don't think he forced himself on her. If that were the case, she wouldn't have nearly gotten married to him or allowed him to be a part of the child's life. Then she'd say things like "I feel like my baby holds me back" well...uh...hello?! Of course the baby holds you back! You have to give up your future for theirs! That's what children are all about, it just grated my nerves every time she said that [censored].
I eventually spilled it all out to her and she got mad and called me a selfish b*tch. Then had the nerve, the outright nerve to tell me I don't have a right to talk becuase I'm not "a mother". To say neither of us are friends anymore and that's fine by me, any girl who gives up her child to her mother. Isn't a girl i care to associate with. I think as people we need to live up to our mistakes, and deal with them, instead of trying to pass off our problems (what ever they may be) to our poor family members. /end rant

... Ok, I just want to remind people that I did get pregnant using birth control (condoms). It was the only thing my husband and I were able to use at the time. Granted, I took the risk knowing that I would be willing to have an abortion should it fail (and I did). Still, I'm not about to cast stones at people for things I've done. I'm not religious by any means, nor was I raised to think one has to remain a virgin until they are married. I had plenty of sex before I was married, and I guess I lucked out not having my BC fail. It wasn't until after I was married that I got pregnant.

I know there are people on this board who have actually stopped having sex with their partners due to fear of pregnancy, and I salute them for that kind of resolve. But, my husband and I would not be willing to go that far. I'm a geneticist by trade, and my job wouldn't exist if the desire to procreate weren't such a strong drive in living creatures. I understand that for some reason (which may or may not be an adaptive trait), I do not want to actually have a child. However, I REALLY do enjoy sex. I've also read studies that show when people are sexually aroused, it actually affects their rational thought processes. Before a date, a woman might be thinking straight enough to put a condom in her purse, but in the heat of the moment... well, yeah. We humans put ourselves up on pedestals believing our big brains make us the exceptions to the rules of nature. From everything I've ever seen, we seem to follow the rules just as well as any other animal. This includes having a proportion of the population that chooses not to reproduce, which is common in many insects and a few birds and mammals species that I know about.

I don't know much about most of the drama created by the human race, but I definitely understand getting pregnant when that wasn't your true intention. Maybe there should be more of a push for BC methods that can help rule out "human error," like IUDs and the progesterone injection. Give women a fighting chance while they are thinking rationally.

I have to be honest Dolyn and say that contraceptive, when used entirely properly, rarely fails. Of course it does fail sometimes, as your story shows, but when it comes to the women out there giving it "oh, I don't know how it happened, I was on the pill" it can mostly be taken with a pinch of salt.

Thing is, when you've worked in a family planning environment and your patients are honest with you you'll find that a woman saying "I don't know how it happened" and then persisting with that line, well it just happens so rarely as to be negligible. Almost always they eventually admit to being a bit drunk at the time, or having felt ill but not having thought about it affecting their pill etc. Even the intelligent ones seem unable to understand pill instructions!

So, while there are genuine cases like yours, I think we have to be very careful how much credence we give to today's society which seems to be full of failing contraceptives! Many people are just lying, even those that are married.

I say we need to be careful because we need our brothers and our male friends not to be caught out by one of the liars.

I suspect when men get the pill that the male pill will be taken with far more responsibility than the female one.

Dolyn, I'm sorry if I offended. I understand that BC fails on people sometimes, and while their suppose to be at least 99% effective there is a small 1% that it fails. While the chances are slim, it doesn't mean their improbable. I understand there are exceptions to everything, and I never meant to imply that it was otherwise. Though I admit outside this board, I haven't met a woman who was truthful about the whole thing.

I've caught enough friends with children in tall tales about how they came to have their children. Each time makes me raise an eyebrow at what they were aiming for when telling out right lies. Rape, failed birth control, religion, up-bringing, all of them have been excuses for being careless because of like you said the heat of the moment and being drunk or high.

I mentioned a friends partner who got pregnant by a guy she claimed raped her, that irritated me. The guy was a bit extreme about her turning lesbian, but that's kinda understandable. Yet I don't think he "raped" her by any means and using that to gain sympathy for not using birth control or condoms to begin with was an outrage.

"However, I REALLY do enjoy sex." <--- I guess my take on BC failing is different becuase I don't like or enjoy sex at all. It seems there are two defining urges that drive humans, the urge to breed, and the urge to have sex, I seem to be devoid of both. I do things by myself sure, but beyond that I don't see the appeal. I've been criticized for that more than once, but I guess I just don't get it. So I suppose my view on this matter is distorted because of my views on sex.