BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Disabilities Hidden Disabilities - What Do We Say?

Do you have a hidden disability? What do people say to you about it? Share with us the myths and misconceptions you've experenced

I was diagnosed with lupus while in college and except when a joint is visibly swollen and red or the rare occasions when I have the classic "butterfly rash" not much shows. Sometimes I got the evil eye when taking a "handicapped" seat on a bus when even walking a short distance hurt. Now, 42 years after diagnosis the effects of lupus and osteoarthtitis have made me permanently disabled. Even though I've limped for a year or two, using a handicapped parking space or seat still got an occasional comment or dirty look. I've noticed a drastic change since I started needing and using a cane about six weeks ago. Now it's apparently obvious enough that I can pass for having the disability I've had so long. My youngest sister also experienced some unfair discrimination when she was undergoing chemo and two surgeries for Stage III ovarian cancer her senior year in college. She once commented that she almost wished she had lost all of her hair so people would believe she was a cancer patient and needed to park close to class or when shopping. Another problem is that except for facial expression, pain often doesn't show. I wish we could instill enough compassion in others to understand that not all disabilities are as obvious as a wheelchair or amputation or the like.

Yeah... I totally agree with you... I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD just as I turned 30... In some ways it was a HUGE relief to finally understand and have a name for all the issues I had been facing in my life for so long.... Then, I started "treatment".... I tried all different types of medication and unfortunately had little success with them... Eventually after years of this and finally stopping ALL medication for a while, I ended up getting help through a really good therapist who realized what was going on with me... You see... I have been told that I present myself Really Well... and so, most people don't see Anything wrong with me... But through 2 new therapists, I unraveled something deeper... We figured out that I had at least one or more instances of TBI or (Traumatic Brain Injury) One when I was 7... The most severe when I was 12... and yet another from a hang-gliding incident at 25 years of age. The thing about a TBI is that it can result in many ADD/ADHD like symptoms.... So heres the thing with me is that I'm pretty sure (especially since my mom has a degree in early childhood development and has worked with HeadStart for the past 25 years) that I had some form of ADD/ADHD as a child.. but, the brain injury increases those symptoms and .... When you have a brain injury that displays theses symptoms.... medications can rarely help to any significant degree!!! So... basically... I have a disability that most people don't recognize.. I seem smart and intelligent ...which everyone agrees that I am...but, when it comes to really doing a job and getting things done right or remembering things.... I am at a huge disadvantage.... Even though I seem so capable... It is REALLY a challenge (to put it lightly) to try and live in this world when so many don't understand the things you have to do just to compensate for your dis-advantages.... Although I do feel that my creativity and intelligence in some ways make up for what I lack...others do not usually see it this way... If my leg was missing...people would totally get it..but because a part of my brain does not work the same way as most people...no one gets it... SAD but true... Anyhow.... That my friends IS my Hidden Diability...please respond if anyone else is going through these things ... Thank You!

Yeah... I totally agree with you... I was diagnosed with ADD/ADHD just as I turned 30... In some ways it was a HUGE relief to finally understand and have a name for all the issues I had been facing in my life for so long.... Then, I started "treatment".... I tried all different types of medication and unfortunately had little success with them... Eventually after years of this and finally stopping ALL medication for a while, I ended up getting help through a really good therapist who realized what was going on with me... You see... I have been told that I present myself Really Well... and so, most people don't see Anything wrong with me... But through 2 new therapists, I unraveled something deeper... We figured out that I had at least one or more instances of TBI or (Traumatic Brain Injury) One when I was 7... The most severe when I was 12... and yet another from a hang-gliding incident at 25 years of age. The thing about a TBI is that it can result in many ADD/ADHD like symptoms.... So heres the thing with me is that I'm pretty sure (especially since my mom has a degree in early childhood development and has worked with HeadStart for the past 25 years) that I had some form of ADD/ADHD as a child.. but, the brain injury increases those symptoms and .... When you have a brain injury that displays theses symptoms.... medications can rarely help to any significant degree!!! So... basically... I have a disability that most people don't recognize.. I seem smart and intelligent ...which everyone agrees that I am...but, when it comes to really doing a job and getting things done right or remembering things.... I am at a huge disadvantage.... Even though I seem so capable... It is REALLY a challenge (to put it lightly) to try and live in this world when so many don't understand the things you have to do just to compensate for your dis-advantages.... Although I do feel that my creativity and intelligence in some ways make up for what I lack...others do not usually see it this way... If my leg was missing...people would totally get it..but because a part of my brain does not work the same way as most people...no one gets it... SAD but true... Anyhow.... That my friends IS my Hidden Diability...please respond if anyone else is going through these things ... Thank You!

Sometimes I have thought longingly of the desire to wear a shirt that says Aspergers on it, so people can know at a glance that I don't come across like everyone else does, and that social interactions are a challenge for me.

There is an episode of Glee called Born This Way, where they all wear shirts proclaiming their 'issues' that they were born with. I think it's a nifty idea. It would help spread compassion.