BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Don't Get Marry?

Aaaah.
Love.
I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy.
Nice stories.

When I answered earlier I had completely forgotten that my husband was also not yet a citizen of this country. Clearly we didn't marry for his citizenship, but that was a good reason too. Within our first three years he was able to become a dual-national and without that marriage certificate it would have taken much longer if it happened at all.

I will never ever regret getting married. My husband and I have been through so much: My temper tantrums His sister and mother trying to break us up (as if I needed help. LOL) His spending sprees Almost divorcing 3 TIMES (once, we got in a fight, and I didn't leave, because my family lives so far away, and I didn't think the car would make it. So now we joke that our marriage was saved by a POS car! LOL) Fighting about bills...credit cards...etc. (You can imagine the arguments when a saver marries a spender!) And we've managed to work it out every time. Cooperation, friendship, communication, intimacy...Ain't marriage grand? :D

Most of the women I know are educated and/or continuing education.

The current economy whether it's being addressed by our gov't or not is a HUGE issue right now. So, many women are at home or having to re-educate themselves or trying to work from home through networking.

Also, women generally don't have the desire to get married just to clean house. That's pretty much a thing of the 1940's - 1950's. We have way too many options these days.

Here, we have many, many choices, both men and women. We are seen as fair equals. We have found that aside from the obvious, sex and having babies, communication, respect and shared interests have a great deal to do with how long a relationship lasts, kids or no kids.

When a woman marries, idealy they are looking for a partner, not a master. Men as well are looking for a woman to have a mutual partnership with, not just a woman who can reproduce and have a career as well. It's more spiritual than that.

Anyone, if they are physically capable can have babies. So, what if you've nothing in common? The kids? That's it? You pay bills together? It isn't going to sustain in the long run, it will be lonely and kids grow up.

Women marry because they love their partners, in general, very much I suspect and cant' see living w/anyone else.

Women also have various reasons for not wanting children. Usually they've discussed these things with their partner. They can vary from an overcrowded planet to the way society is headed and not wanting to bring another human life into chaos, to self-doubt about parenting themselves because of their own personal childhood.

Also, marriage doesn't necessarily signify childbirth. Women concieve every day that aren't married. Why is it such a notion that if you are married you have to have kids? Do you know how many people there are who are married that have kids and cheat or leave and aren't happy at all? They are two separate issues.

One is the relationship they (the man and wife) have with eachother, the other is their readiness to bring another human being into this world. Just doing it to do it doesn't guarantee a happy ending to either, it's balance and every person has the opportunity to pursue that here.

If and when a relationship is ready to have kids it's good to pursue that, if it isn't it is equally good to wait. The world is filled with people who didn't, many of which are featured on the True TV channel!

There are many reason why a person get married, and one of these is the partners or couple love each other. But do you think this love is an assurance for the relationship to last long?? well, the truth is not all. There are relationships that end so soon, why?because their love fades. some get married and afterward get a divorced. Read more of this topic onBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

There are many reason why a person get married, and one of these is the partners or couple love each other. But do you think this love is an assurance for the relationship to last long?? well, the truth is not all. There are relationships that end so soon, why?because their love fades. some get married and afterward get a divorced. Read more of this topic onBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

" [quote=LawyerGal][quote=swearbear]I married for love. I love my husband with all of my heart and can't imagine life without him. Pure and simple. I have my bachelor's degree but, because of a rough economy, I am a housewife working on a nursing degree...so, yep, educated, good work ethic, in love, no want for kids.[/quote] This is great love story to read. Yes, there aren't any jobs left for us. Keep on what you like to do. As long your husband still want you. Have A Great Day![/quote] "As long your husband still want you." #$%@?!! Sorry had to be said. I know English is your second language but how else can you interpret that statement. Give me a HUGE break LawyerGal. If your husband doesn't "want" you than good riddance!

Eleise makes a good point: if you can have a baby without being married, why can't you be married and not have a baby? :p

I get the feeling that lawyergal disagrees with our decision not to procreate. I think she is one of those who believes that marriage exists soley for procreation.

@Leesandra: I have found that love is like energy - it is never destroyed; it just takes a different form. There is no way NO WAY to sustain an uber-romantic relationship - you both will fall into patterns, you sometimes will act more like friends than like partners - but that's love changing. That's communication. That's commitment. That's comfort. :) When my husband and I first started out, it seemed like I had a lot of work to do: his ex-wife left his self-esteem in the gutter, and I had to help him work with that and get over his insecurities (that he didn't "deserve" someone like me, that he couldn't achieve anything himself without someone elses' help/influence, etc). Now, he makes decisions himself - and instead of holding his hand, I'm cheering for him on the sidelines. I'm so proud of him! We've decided that loving someone and changing and growing with them over the course of a lifetime is challenging enough without children...children - even pregnancy- would add a dynamic that would easily ruin our marriage. So - we've literally decided NOT to have children, for the sake of our marriage. :)