BellaOnline Forums Relationships Single Life Query to childfree singles

Hi--I am the author of Families of Two and blog at laviechildfree.com... Every month at la vie and here I ask an "on-the-ground" question to tap into what is happening out there right now with the childfree. In January, it was a bit different as I queried what people wanted to discuss in the new year-one of the topics people said they wanted to talk more about was finding childfree to date --so this month I want to ask just that: What stories and/or wisdom do you have about finding childfree people to date? If you're single and do not want children, please tell me your dating stories and experiences here or on the blog, and I will collect and report back at the end of the month! Thanks so much! Laura

I'm single and in a relationship and I never had a desire to have kids. However my bf of going on seven years is talking about them so right now that is a dilemma for me now. I will not date a man with kids for many reasons but part of it is that I don't want to deal with any baby mama or kid drama. When I was dating I never brought up the fact that I didn't have a desire for kids until the guy asked me then I would tell them. I guess it's just the times but a lot of guys seemed really surprised when they found out I didn't have kids. I guess people just assume a lot of people are single mothers especially once you reach a certain age.

Hi Laura,

This is a fantastic topic: (hoping) to date child-free. I had firm rules when I was younger when it came to dating. I didn't want a gentleman who had already been married; especially because all the baggage including the children.
In my late twenties, I met a fantastic gentleman, who hadn't been married; but did have a daughter; who lived out of state with her mother. He would fly for periodic visits; Perfect!


During the second year of our relationship, a letter arrived at his home; asking him for an appointment date for a paternity test to be taken; for yet another child -absolutely no one knew of including him. Apparently a dart league member; from five years earlier was having difficulties at home, thus finding the paternal father of the child was crucial. As it turned out he was 98.something definitely the father. Not only was she an in town child; but she also deserved a full-time daddy. Although he wasn't overly psyched about my decision; not to stick around at first, He realized that his focus being solely on his daughter; allowed him to give his very best to her. He expressed his gratitude to me once he realized how he felt.


Having this experience helped me realize that; although we can have and set our own rules, Life has the final say! Sincerely, Laughs