BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Invited to the babyshower of a stranger...

LOL gogirl, well if we do no one has ever invited me to one, they probably know I am too tight.

And yes, why would you expect someone to kit out your kid, I think, and I am thinking hard, someone bought me a baby grow for my second son!

Maybe I should get married and have another kid just to get presents! Hmmm what do I want... A sewing table, a new coat I have seen on ASOS, two new tires for my car, oh a new cooker would be good....

I've never really been able to grasp the concept of baby showers anyway. Linda's right - we don't have them in the UK, the most people get is maybe close family helping out with buying stuff if the couple are young/can't afford it and friends buying an item of clothing/teddy bear when the baby is actually born. I'm kind of intrigued how you phrase an invite to a baby shower when the baby itself is absent and the whole thing revolves aroud asking for expesive gifts - at least at weddings the presents aren't the main event, the ceremony is!

Reading the original post, I can't believe how lucky I am. I have never been to a baby shower, and never intend to go to one. My cousins are starting to have kids, but I live in WA state, while they live in Illinois...and I'll be dam*ed if I'm gonna travel cross- country for that bullsh*t. My sister-in-law had a baby last July, and never even invited me to her baby shower. It miffed me a little bit at the time, but honestly, I wouldn't have gone - it would have been her and a bunch of her friends cooing over the cute baby stuff/kindercrap. I would have been bored out of my gourd. It would have been great to get an invitation, though; she's never really treated me as if she wanted to be friends anyway. So - no surprises, and no love lost. :) I crocheted her a baby blanket and matching booties - with the ulterior motive that I learn a new stitch, and try out a new pattern...even when I'm being giving, I'm selfish! :D

Fifty dollars is a huge amount in my neck of the woods. Although I'm thinking if they're having baby showers, what's wrong with throwing a grad-school shower? Someone can buy the textbooks for the courses and wrap them all up in cute paper. Another person can bring a check for the tuition. School supplies with ribbons and bows on them. I'm seeing a new trend here.

Okay, that was just meant to be in fun. I'm really not going to do that. Besides, my parents are awesome and are taking care of tuition and books for me. I've been hit up for all kinds of things. I've been asked by some people to help them pay for IVF (um, one reason I never did it myself was because I couldn't afford it; why would I want to help someone else pay for it? just a slap in my infertile face at the time). I've been asked to pitch in to help someone buy new furniture. I've been asked to help deliver meals after someone has a kid. I've been asked to donate for tons of things. And I can usually do it. But only because they want a couple of bucks or a small amount of effort. I'm NOT gonna spend fifty bucks for someone I don't know. I don't even spend that much on my niece and nephew and they are the lights of my life.

I think the best thing instead of baby showers is the meal organization. Or schedule days to come over and help with laundry or something. That's really what new parents need. Babysitting and help. Not money, not things, not a themed nursery,coordinating pillows, bumpers (what the heck are those for anyway?), matching lamps, state-of-the-art diaper systems that terrify any four-legged pet in the house, strollers that look like space capsules and have features you can't even figure out, etc. I've seen some of these registries, and the stuff is insane sometimes. If I'm gonna get your kid (not you, your kid) a gift for entering this world, it's gonna be something I pick out myself. I really don't like being forced to pick between a gift that costs half my take-home pay for a week or a package of cloth diapers that is the only thing under 20 bucks on the list.

Sorry, I'm in a mood, and I'm ranting.

Rants are good, I do it all the time. Frankly, I'd rather give a present than have to help someone with a kid. No, no, you have fun changing diapers all by yourself, thanks. I look at baby showers the same way I do weddings, so I'm not opposed to gift giving. A grad school party sounds like a GREAT idea to me, and I promise no one will have to come over and help me with my homework:)

-D.

People are saying that people have baby showers to collect gifts. From what I understand...the expectant mother never throws her own shower. It is usually thrown by a relative or close friend or coworkers. To throw a shower for yourself is tacky and not correct ettiquete.

While that is true, a lot of women expect showers to be thrown for them and expect a big payoff. Again, I will refer to my mom's coworker who gave away her baby stuff, but expected her coworkers to throw her another shower and re buy all of the stuff (we're talking stroller, crib, changing table)

Waow Dolyn, you're either rich or ridiculously generous :-D

No way should you ever be expected to go to such a thing, the woman should hand out invites to people she knows personally, the giving it to her man's workplace thing just screams of selfishly wanting loads of attention and presents! Very bizarre.

I would have stuck with the fact that it's just a very odd thing to be invited to, and I certainly wouldn't have contributed to the gift.

How many colleagues do you have? How many have partners and may have a baby in the next year? In some places I've worked I could have been shelling out �200 a year to virtual strangers. That's just odd.

Happy One, I loooooooooove the idea of a graduation shower, I may just demand that someone throws me one. After all, getting a Math degree is far harder than popping out a child for pity's sake :-D

We don't have baby showers but we do have those hideous hen nights. I refused to have one and I don't go to them either. But then I don't go to every wedding I'm invited to, only the ones I actually want to attend.

All these attention-seeking type events (and to be honest, that's what they are) are completely beyond my comprehension.

Also, I feel that if people decide to have children they should face the reality of it as soon as possible, I'm not sure that helping them too much is a good idea, they will just come to rely on others. My partner's sister relies on everyone for everything and it's about time she learned that SHE had the child and SHE needs to learn to fit her life around the child, otherwise she just shouldn't have got pregnant. They made the decision, they should make the sacrifice.

Complete money/gift grab on the coworkers part. A shower should be for close family and friends. If you are close to the co-worker fine no problem. I wouldn't go and I certainly wouldn't have given $50 even if I could afford it especially if I've only spoken 5 words to the coworker and they'd better make sure to send a thank you card to everyone personally and not pass one card around for everyone.