BellaOnline Forums Family Siblings Middle Child Syndrome

Do you really think middle child syndrome exists? Some experts say NOOOOO!! Anybody seen it in action?

Hi, Nina. I think it definitely exists! I see it in my family of origin and in my children. I have four a girl, 9, a boy, 7, and b/g twins who are 6. My 7 year old son is a classic middle child in every way. Poor kid was only 17 months old when he got twin baby sibs! He acts out. He feels unloved. I see birth order play out textbook in all my kids. My daughter is a classic firstborn. My twins are classic youngests. I've always been fascinated by the fact that they behave completely according to type even though there are only 40 months between the birth of the first and the birth of the last! Apparently, spacing is not an issue in birth order! Great question!

I agree with you, Laura. I've witnessed it, too. Time and time again. Birth order has a clear impact on how we are parented and thus, how personalities develop.

In my family, every child is a classic archetype of his birth order status. Same for my husband's family and our children. Friends and colleagues share the same birth order stories about their families.

I've noticed, however, that some extenuating circumstances can factor in. For example, sexual abuse, neglect, mental illness can change how children view themselves and the birth order roles. If there is a handicapped or disabled child in the family, that also affects birth order roles.

I have always been told that I have the middle-child personality. But it is not the same as the one I have read about. My family defined it as the peace-maker, trying to make everybody happy from my very volatile older sister to my reserved and shy younger sister and also my mother who seemed to get unhappy at the drop of the hat. I had a balancing act to preform! But the feedback I got was that I did a good job of inclusiveness and also making sure to smooth ruffled feathers. So my very large family - 17 cousins on one side and 8 aunts & uncles - always told me I was the classic middle child....

Peace maker is also a middle child trait, Carolyn! This may be a positive reaction from "The Middle Child Syndrome"
From my Birth Order Personalities- Middle Child article:
"They are sensitive to injustices and much less self-centered than their siblings (first born and last born), which allows them to maintain successful relationships. They are put in the position to learn social skills that are extremely useful, not only within their household, but within their social community."