BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships hubby cheating and possibly bi

found emails where MH invited a man to our house for some "fun" while i was out of town. found other emails where he was on dating sites and stating he was a bi male who enjoyed cross dressing, wearing panty hose and being a sub. He denies any of it is true, and denies cheating on me ever. but no way i can know for sure. He has shut down with and will only talk to the therapist. So i am in limbo i love him dearly but not sure if i should wait art his around for him to figure out his sexuality? Breaking my heart.

wow, Im sorry to hear your situation. Do you both go to therapy or just him? I know its annoying when people say "hang in there things will get better" but it will, just have to give it some time and let yourself process the emotions and you'll see what you need to do. I too am going through a difficult time, but I have found support through this site, even by just reading all the past posts. My heart goes out to you in your time of need.

Man oh man, I advises you to go have HIV test done and see what type. If your husband have HIV and you don't, time to leave him. If you both have it, I don't think both of you can live together. I wouldn't.

Is he still dating the other guy, or still in denial?

"I am in limbo, I love him dearly; but I'm not sure if I should wait around for him to figure out his sexuality".

Hello Emotionallytorn, So very sorry for this difficult time your experiencing. Please be aware that although your husband's issues are effecting you also; He isn't the only person who deserves comforting and the support of others. Although you my feel also that your choice to wait for your husband to make decisions is what you want to do. May I offer you these words from my heart; Your life, Your soul, Your well being is now and has been your priority. As this perhaps once was your husbands priotity as well. Right now ;at least he is reaching out to figure out himself; this quite possibly may be all he is able to do. I truly believe that by focusing on your well being, also greiving the loss of your trust and faith in your husband, will allow you to begin regaining your strength; to then makes choices in your own best interest. Whichever choice you feel is best for youself. Much Peace and Many Blessings to you. Sincerely, Laughs

PS Perhaps the suggestion offered by "lawyergal" to have an HIV test done; may appeal to you, not only for the peace of mind to know you are indeed healthy physically, but also to assit yourself in regaining a sense of personal strength. *hugs*

You may be in limbo but you got to think of the long term results. you need to go get tested and if I was you, leave him. I know that sounds harsh but if he was cheating with another woman how would you respond to that?

While he is trying to figure out his sexuality do you think you should be sitting there waiting for him? He has broken your trust as well as your vows......I know I am sounding harsh and maybe even cold but do you think he is thinking about you and your feelings with his actions?

Hello Maureen, I've read your response to emotionallytorn and would like to share my thoughts with you.


"I know I am sounding harsh and maybe even cold but do you think he is thinking about you and your feelings with his actions"?

I'm in agreement with your thoughts about emotionallytorn's husband decision process. However, I'd like to bring up the fact that this may be fairly new situation for emotionallytorn and she may be in need of some compassion at the moment. Being in a distraught place emotionally is difficult enough. My point is- as a friendly reminder; Let's show our compassion for those in need and be supportive, to ensure they once again find their strength to see themselves through every situation; at times life throws at us all. Sincerely Laughs

Yes now that I have re-read my posting, I do see where I might sound a little harsh and I feel bad.. I myself recently had a relationship end and he also was guilty of the same so I guess it hit home and it struck a cord with me....so I do apologize for sounding harsh and I hope it all works out well.