BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids You're gonna love this one, my friends!

Hi all!

I've been here alot- most of you know me. Hubbie and I (mostly I) have decided not to have kids. Things have recently settled down, no gut wrenching talks, etc. Until... New Years Eve. My boss at one of the singing gigs I have had a small gathering and invited us to go. We were looking forward to it. It was a bunch of people I didn't know, my boss, a guitar player from the gig and their wives.

One of the women I had never met in my life (let's call her Kim) came up to me at the food table and (I kid you not), the first thing she said:

KIM: What's your name?

ME: Virgogirl.

KIM: Do you have kids? (silence)

ME: No.

KIM: Awwwwww.

Like it's the saddest thing in the world she's ever heard. At which point I figured I'd better ask her about her kids so she'd feel we had something to talk about, otherwise why would she ask in the first place? Turns out, her kids are old and LONG out of the house. Weird. Until...

Midnight. We're all toasting with champagne, and Kim goes up to my husband and says, "And maybe in 2011 you guys will have a BABY!"

RECORD SCREECH. Everyone is silent.

Hubbie, who I have put through DA MILL with all this talk of no babies, completely had my back. He said, "We don't want kids. We don't feel our lives are lacking, and we're really happy with the way things are."

At this point, I'm ready to scream, not only at Kim's rudeness, but the fact that she put my hubby on the spot, and he's the one who would really like to have a baby. So I know how much it took for him to say this to her.

I hope I hold on to this wonderful man forever. If I don't, and he decides he can't live without kids, I'll be ok... but I hope I do get to keep him.

Happy Frickin' New Year!

Hi Virgogirl! Wow that was so rude of Ms. Kim. I cannot believe she said awwwww like something was wrong. There are 2 main reasons why people don't have kids. One is if you cannot or second if you don't want them. In your situation you do not want...but say if you did and just couldn't...well her response was just rude! Everyone is different and wants different things out of life. It was wonderful how your husband stood up for you both. Happy New Year! :)

I've gotten that before, going to large social gatherings and having some strange woman plundering into my personal life. The last person that did that, probably doesn't do it anymore considering how well I put her in her place. I don't tolerate rudeness to any extent, and namely when they try to convince me that kids are "oh so wonderful" and "the greatest joy". Your best bet next time hun, is to just be straightforward, no need to downplay yourself for the sake of others. If their being rude, give it back to them, maybe they'll learn to be less rude in the future.

I had a good laugh at your post Virgo girl, and you're right, you've got a wonderful husband. ( hope you tell him, we think he's great too ! )
As for the sad moo that obviously has no intelligent conversation other than kids - Pants - that's all I've got to say to her.
Then I would shake her and say 'WAKE UP '
Smell the roses, life is wonderful, full of amazing things to do, to learn, it's a new ( frickin' ) year, and all you can think of is kids !!??? for someone that you don't even know !!??
Get a life !!!
Actually it would be funny, if these people didn't realize what torment they cause. I'm sure it spoiled ( at least a little bit ) what must have been a good night.

We've got your back, and if she ever comes near us ? well, she'd better watch hers... tee hee ;-D

I say definitely! He sure sounds like a gem! That is so nice of him to "have your back" when he's undecided about kids. Whenever my husband and I get those questions, I say I don't want to have kids but my husband just smiles and says nothing. It is for sure an awkward moment and I just wish for once he'd at least say he's not sure. There's nothing wrong with that.

I hope you get to keep him too!

Exactly.