BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Double Standards

hee hee, I think vasectomies are great! Congrats to you and your hubby!!!

Congrats on the vasectomy! My husband of 7 years just got his, in early December. It ended up costing us a little more than we thought (they were unable to do the operation in the office, as a result of "anatomical reasons"), it was done in the OR at the hospital - enter anesthesiologist bill. :/ I have told my family, and most are happy for us (my dad is a little sad about our decision to be child-free, but I don't have to please him...We're doing what's best for us). The only people in hubby's family that know are his brother (who has a vasectomy, but had the "good sense" to have 2 kids first), and his wife. I don't think hubby's mom could take it. After my brother-in-law got his "snip-snip", he was talking about it to my husband on the phone. My husband heard his mom yell from across the room: "You better not think of getting one!" Oh, boy. So - now I'm not on great speaking terms with my sister-in-law, and my husband and I are both a little anxious that she might spill the beans to his mother. It wouldn't matter much to me if his mother knew...but it would really pain my husband to deal with his mother's grief. Ugh. :P <fingers crossed> Perhaps this needs it's own discussion thread. Hmmm...

Audrey, I hear you. My in-laws are also going to flip out when they realize we don't want kids. My parents, on the other hand, know about it and are cool with it. We're not getting a vasectomy because I love being on the pill, but kudos to all of you on making your own decisions :)

Regardless of whether he had the vasectomy or not, I would still be on the pill. The hormones seem to even out my moods quite a bit, and minimize mood swings. I don't want to EVEN get into what it was like when Aunt Flow came to town...regularly...for 9 STRAIGHT DAYS. Oh, and not to forget the cramping that a Vicodin only takes the EDGE off. Not fun. But, the pill fixed all that. (Seasonique is awesome!) Both of us were just really, really tired of worrying that I might get pregnant - although, using 2 forms of birth control made the possibility highly unlikely. I did get pregnant once, before we were married, which the doctor concluded to be a "false pregnancy". It was enough to scare me straight, and get really serious about birth control. It's just a load off my shoulders...not having to worry. :)

My husband, who is ten years older than me, had a 17 year old daughter from a previous marriage when we got together.
I was 31 when I married him, and his mother, when we were alone, told me she hoped I didn't want children, because 'her son had gone through all that already '.
I told her I didn't, but shortly after I was outraged. - being a bit taken aback by the comment at the time.

I almost wanted to have three just to pee her off. ( I'm feeling the outrage all over again, remembering the conversation that I haven't thought of for many years )
It's the opposite of what some of you have gone through,
but doesn't it prove a huge point ?
Selfish people who think only of themselves, and as the impact of offspring, - children or grandchildren - impacts hugely on everyone, then the selfishness is revealed in all it's ugliness.

His mother ,who is now 83, talks of her grandchildren / geat grandchildren alot - she' never worked, and her kids and their offspring have been her life.
So imagine how I feel when she talks about them constantly ?
But they weren't good enough for me....?
I've never told my husband what she'd said.

Hi Alice, You say you regret the vascectomy, please can you elaborate?? So you wish you had had a child or more than one??? Me and hubby cant decide and I am 40, any advice you have would be awesome. Do you really regret it each day or is it only a small regret mixed in with 'well we do really enjoy our CF life as well or..? details please!!!!!! Much appreciated, Shakespear202

Heavy frickin duty Gaynor8002! That must cut to the bone! Wow what self control not to tell your hubby! My resolve do that melt in 2seconds of seeing him if I ever think not to tell him something MIL says that upsets me..ie 'your a lier', 'your a slave driver' and her last wonderful input shaking her fist at me in conversation...lovely!!!!! Shakespeare202