BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Double Standards

Why is it that when someone is pregnant it is expected that the anouncement will bring cheers, joy, happiness, parties, and happiness? However, when I was just as excited about my husbands upcoming vasectomy the response was gasps, boos, hisses, "oh you will regret that", and several un approving looks. If I said that to an expectant mother I would be tarred and featherd, but they can criticize and pass judgement on the vasectomy..................HMMMMMMMMMMM????

That's pretty bogus. No one did that for me when I got my tubes tied. I only got yelled at for being open about having had it done. People are weird about that kind of stuff. After I had my tubes tied, I put the internal photos the doctor took of me up on my fridge. You know, the uterus, he went and took a look at my appendix (just to see if it looked okay, and it did), and the picture of him cauterizing my tubes. When people would see it, they'd ask, "What's that?" And I'd tell them. Then they'd either ask why I would put that up for people to see (like it's dirty or something), or why I wouldn't want to keep that I had my tubes tied "private." Why should that be private? I mean, I guess it could be if I wanted it to be. But, it's just surgery. Like, do people hide that they get their wisdom teeth removed?

Also, side note, I learned that apparently it's not common for women who have breast reductions to tell people that they had that done (supposedly you can just get away with saying you've lost weight). Where as, I, threw "the girls" a going away party entitled "Bra Voyage."

I think it's our honesty that upsets people the most. They just can't take it.

Maybe it angers people because they never realized that they had a choice not to reproduce.

Sann - that is completely ridiculous - definitely double standards. And the whole privacy issue....pregnant women are constantly sharing all kinds of extremely personal details about their bodies during the pregnancy, and apparently everyone is okay with that. But mention something about your "reproductive organs" that isn't pregnancy-related, and people act shocked that you share that or criticize you.

Sann, what you're saying is so true.There is a double standard. I would love for someone to say"you'll regret that." that to a pregnant chick...lol. I can't believe someone said that to you!!! I'd have responded with , Oh, you think so? Thanks for your opinion." Also, CONGRATULATIONS to both you and your husband on your new found freedom:)

[quote=Kat1980]Maybe it angers people because they never realized that they had a choice not to reproduce. [/quote] This upsets me a bit, to see that the vast majority of people may never realize they had a choice not to have kids, and even not to get married, or a choice to change careers, or to move to another city, or another country, I mean... I could go on. I know a few people who got or are getting married just because it's "the norm", but that clearly don't enjoy eachother's company most of the time. And I'm sure they're all going to have kids, without ever asking themselves "Do I want kids?" Talk about starting off on the wrong foot... Sometimes I try to think of the people who bash me for my decisions as the unfortunate ones who never realized how many choices there are to be made. From what to have for breakfast to what country to live in; from whether or not to add cream to your coffee to whether or not to have kids. So glad to be one of the "choosy" :D

I hate to say it but we did regret the vasectomy. There's just no way of knowing how different you might feel in ten years. At least with pills you still have the freedom to change your mind.

LOL I loved your post! I would love to hear someone say that too! "I'm pregnant!" " Aw geez, sorry, you'll definitely regret that, year after year." Thanks for the laugh misstalia!

I gotta say, congrats! Though you're right it is a double standard, why should pregnant women have all the fun?! On my 30th birthday I'm throwing myself an non-baby shower, where I'm going to invite all my nearest and dearest to celebrate my life without kids with me! I hope you and your hubby threw yourselves an equally nice celebration to commemorate this lovely event =D

Jen, that is funny but a good idea