BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management can't stand negativity and pessimism

Man I just can't stand negativity and pessimism. People who have no clue what they are talking about should really not try to give advice or criticize those who are trying to succeed at something or those who have taken a chance with something and had great success.

What is the idiom for this? Armchair quarter back? Can't friggin stand it when people do this. They just shoot everybody and everything down because of their own fears, failures or self hatred. Pompous douchebaggery at it's best! Get over yourself and let the rest of us LIVE! Woohoo! Merry Xmas and Happy Friggin New Year! (channeling a little Chevy Chase in Christmas Vacation there)

O.K. I feel much better now and I didn't even have to rehash the whole situation either : )

My friend this is human nature, you cant change it, the only thing that you can do is that you can accept this fact.

I think every person is at a certain path in their growth cycle and while some are very serene, others are not there yet. They are hurt and frustrated and defensive and angry.

I was talking with someone about this recently, that it is like walking down a road and coming across an injured puppy. The puppy might snarl at you, but it is because he is injured and scared. He needs help and he doesn't know what to do or who to trust.

I know it's easy to get frustrated right back when someone is acting that way. It's human nature.

I try my best to realize that they are hurt and sad inside. Their outward expressions simply mirror their insides. They feel down about themselves and the thought of someone else succeeding makes them feel even worse. It's not a good state to be in. They need help, but they don't know how to ask for it. They feel stuck. And that makes them angry and frustrated.

So I try my best to be even more understanding, to be there if they need help, but also to gently distance myself from their harmful barking if there is nothing I can do immediately. That is, yes, they are hurt and they need to take steps to heal. But I can't "make" them heal - and while I can do my best, I also need to keep myself protected and not let myself be constantly abused in the process.

Lisa, great analogy with the puppy. Just try and remember how you first felt when you came accross self development and the concept of maintaining positivity all the time. It is hard to keep and a foreign subject to most people. Therefore when something goes wrong, people will express themselves through negativity because it is comfortable to them being what they know and find easy to do. Instead of staying frustrated, it might help to put yourself in their shoes, and then help them to find the positive in the situation. Enough influence of positivity, in time they will grasp the concept and embrace it like yourself.