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#651897 12/27/10 11:04 AM
Joined: Dec 2010
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Should home/visiting teachers bring children with them? My home/visiting teachers are husband/wife. Every month, they come over with all their children, who are very young and they run screaming through our house for at least an hour. The messages usually last about 30 seconds and the rest of the time, we chase and talk about the children. It is very frustrating and I dread each visit. I am new to church and I don't know if this situation is the "norm." But I am getting very resentful about the whole thing. I work a lot and I do not have time to make for this ridiculous waste of time anymore. They are a very precious family but I do not enjoy the visits at all - they stress me out more than anything. Advice?

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Jellyfish
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Perhaps Sis. Bezas will respond with a more insightful answer but I can make a suggestion: Have a talk with your visiting teacher as well as the bishop. They would like to know how you feel because your home visits are important. And it's important to have a spiritual moment during these visits. They aren't merely social calls. Sometimes, these visits are the only spiritual moments people have during their entire months because either they are inactive or homebound.

As a new member, you are still vulnerable to so many things that could sideline your spiritual connection to the church. This is one of them. It's too easy to get both disillusioned, discouraged when you see longtime members make mistakes that shake your testimony.

If you talk to the bishop and your visiting teacher, they'll be understanding. But you must be honest! Others to confide in include the missionaries who still should be visiting you on occasion.

The only time a home/visiting teacher should bring children is when the offspring are old enough to learn from and/or enhance the purpose of the visit. At times, I had a visiting teacher who would bring her young one but he was not a distraction at all. It was a cheery time for me because I had just lost a little boy.

Please, please talk to your bishop and visiting teacher so they can make the necessary changes in your assignments. But you must be straightforward. Explain that you do not find these visits a spiritual treat and you actually dread them. Use those words so there is no confusing how strongly you feel.

The right home teacher is vital. I know. We at times have had absentee teachers during which time my husband and son ended up leaving the church. And now we have an excellent teacher who is their only lifeline to the church. He is a good representative of the Christ and he brings the Spirit with him each month.

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Thank you Lori. That is very helpful. I cannot talk to VT about it because she is the wife and is part of the problem. I don't want to talk to anyone else because I don't want it to be gossip. But I could definitely talk to our Bishop. I don't want to hurt feelings and I hate to complain, but it has gone on for too long. I really appreciate your helpful answer.

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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Oh, you know what? That's another issue. She shouldn't be your visiting teacher. It's best not to have your home and visiting teacher be a couple...in order to get different contacts, different perspectives. You might want to bring that up with the bishop as well. And don't forget the missionaries. They will be very proactive in helping to retain your membership and protect your testimony. They have meetings with all the church leaders to discuss what can be done to safeguard your family interest.

Please don't feel you'll be hurting feelings. But let me assure you that they would want to know how you feel because this is affecting how you feel about the church in general. And as a convert, you are very precious.

And I appreciate your not wanting to gossip. Discretion is vital. I learned the hard way that blessed as these people are or can be, their human natures and the way the church is organized lends to gossip in a big way. People mean well, but it's still gossip.

Last edited by Lori-LivingSimply; 12/29/10 03:12 PM.
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As a visiting teacher I always left my children with a friend. I wanted to be able to jump in and help with a need that I might perceive while making the visit. Sometimes I just visit and sometimes I might do the dishes depending on the situation I find and what I feel will be helpful. Hope you get it resolved so it is a good experience for you.


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