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#651705 12/25/10 09:04 PM
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Hello everyone. I am new here. I was looking for a place to talk about family estrangement. I just need some support. I am one of five children. There has always been conflict, hurt, and pain. My brother and I have decided a few months ago to disconnect with the other siblings, as well as my mother. I just couldn't take anymore, nor could he. I have never gotten any respect within my family, I was basically the "black sheep." My mother and others are upset from not having a relationship with my brother. Not to my suprise, they don't care that I no longer phone or have contact with them. This hurts. I was particularly depressed around this holiday, Christmas. My sisters have neglected my children now, who are still both under the ages o 18.

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I always bought my sister's kids' presents for all holidays, and birthdays up until the age of 18. I am hurt, because my kids have nothing to do with the estrangement, yet, the two sisters didn't send anything, not even a card or text message to them. My family is the least wealthy. These sisters are very well off, and it hurst because I know they had a huge celebration with exteneded family and bought presents for kids who are not even related to them. I am happy most days to not have a relationship with them, as it was a negative one, hurtful, and they play "games." I was okay, until the neglect of my children were invovled. I cooked dinner for my own family, and it was just us, sort of depressing, but okay at the same time.

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Hi~ You came to a great place for support. I am sure many ppl are struggling with this issue, especially right now.

I was estranged from my toxic mother for 11 yrs when she died. I am currently estranged from my sister, who is mother to my young niece.

Also, In June, my spouse of 16 yrs left and my oldest, a son, almost 16, sided with him, and has chosen not to speak to or see me for months.

This was the first Christmas I have ever had without him, and spent the day for the first time ever with just the younger two and myself.

I don't feel I have any wise advice to give, but wanted to let you know, you are not alone.

Also, feel free to pm me if you like.

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Suzanne, Thanks for posting. I'm sorry you have had to suffer also, but I appreciate you letting me know your struggles. It helps to know I'm not alone, and that someone else can relate.This Christmas sounds like it was rough for you also, not having your 16 year old around. I have a teenage son who sides with his father quite often. My mother is quite elderly and has come near death a couple of times. I dread the day she passes for what may seem as selfish reasons to do with me. I do not want to deal with the sisters, and all the drama, mean ness, and aggravation that goes with. One in particular, will try to play the "guilt card" BIG TIME, with me and my brother for not having a relationship with my mom now. Did you have difficutlies when your mom passed with others trying to make you feel guilty, etc? My brother and I have tried NUMEROUS times to help my mother and have peaceful relationships with those we are estranged with, but it just doesn't work, and we continue to get upset, and depressed. It's not worth it. I have more peace and happiness with them not in my life. As mentioned before, it is the holiday, and the hurt that they evoke on my kids that have brought me down at this time. Thanks again for allowing me to vent and posting your thoughts.

Last edited by dysfamily; 12/26/10 12:37 AM.

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