Hi I am new on here and it looks like a great site. Hopefully I can get some viewpoints on my situation. I have been together with my husband 11 years. I have a daughter, 12 from previous marriage, he has 2 daughters, 16 and 21 and his oldest has a 2 year old. I used to get on with his oldest but then she went weird with me and I think alot of it had to do with the fact that my husband is quite weak and doesn't make a decision without saying he has to speak to me first. This has made her feel that I run everything and if he doesn't do anything for her it's because of me. The result is we don't have a good relationship and she comes over very rarely. Every year since I have been with my husband we have had family over for Christmas (his family). I had my family a couple of times. His daughters never wanted to come over on Christmas day, always choosing to spend it with their Mum and coming to us on Boxing Day. Last year my daughter asked if we could have Christmas Day just the 3 of us so we could relax and enjoy the day together. It was going to happen and then his daughters said they wanted to come over. Because they never had on Christmas Day we said they could and they did, along with Husband's brother. This year myself and my daughter both wanted to just have us 3. I want to just relax and sit in my pj's eating lots of chocolates! Husband said that would happen this year and said that he told his daughters this is what was happening and that they could come over Boxing Day. Then 3 days ago he says that his oldest daughter said 'when we come over on Christmas Day', meaning herself and her son. My husband said he told her that he had promised myself and my daughter that we would have Christmas just the 3 of us. But then he said he would think about it and speak to me. I got so angry as I feel that he has put it onto me again and said that he promised me as if he didn't want to do that. I was angry that now he wanted me to say 'ok she can come over with her son'. I feel that if I say no I will be the ogre and he will be miserable on Christmas thinking about her being on her own. She told him she was going to her Mum's in the morning and then she was going to be all alone. So now he's saying 'what am I supposed to say to her, she's my daughter?' The truth is she doesn't have to be on her own, she could go with her mum to her mum's b/f but she doesn't like him. She could go to her Grand-ma's as well. My husband isn't relaxed when they are over because he is trying to be mister perfect Dad and then my daughter gets annoyed with him because he is being all nice, which is fake. She is adamant that she wants just us 3 and I feel that her needs should be listened to as well. She already feels that he doesn't listen to her. If she comes over she will just sit there whilst her son runs up and down the stairs and runs on the sofa's and it won't be relaxing. Please help as I don't know what to do. Am I being really mean to not want her to come over? Is thinking about what I want and putting what my daughter wants first so wrong? I just don't know when it will end, this guilt he feels and being manipulated by her. I thought it would end as they got older but it hasn't. Any advice would be greatly appreciated as we have had a bit argument and we haven't talked to each other since yesterday. Thanks.