I really need help and support right now. Please read carefully and try to understand what I have suffered through.
Every summer for as long as I can remember, my family and cousins all met up in Montana for the best summer of our lives! I have always loved the place and has always been my own personal paradise. But I was scared. In July we went to visit again but this time our third cousin came as well. I told my family it might be nice to have him and all that. I welcomed him in even though he isn't in our close group. But during the summer, twice he FORCED me to make out with him. I didn't want to and I tried to resist but he forced himself on me and I had no way to resist. I did everything I could to prevent it but he kept insisting. Well the second time we got caught and instead of him being punished I got in trouble as well. My mother and grandmother were so dissapointed in me. They don't talk about it anymore and said they still loved me. But its killing me inside. I think about it sometimes and it makes me miserable and I don't know who to turn to. Reasons why I am so upset..
-He stole my first kiss. I wanted it to be special but now I live in fear
-Every time I think about going back next summer I think of what happened and I feel like he ruined my paradise.
-It hurts me a lot inside
-I wish it never happened and I never had to disapoint my family.
It really makes me sad, scared and mad. How can I get over all these problems? Please help...I feel so alone.