I met a remarkable woman yesterday. I won�t share her name here because I don�t want to embarrass her. I didn�t plan on writing about her, so I didn�t ask her permission, but as I tried to get to sleep last night I found myself thinking about her.
I�ll call her M. I had a brief conversation with her, in a busy, public place, so there�s a lot about M I didn�t get a chance to learn, but what little I learned really impressed me.
M was a little older than myself, (that makes her middle aged) had been married for a time to a man who was abusive, got divorced and raised four boys, who were grown and had kids of their own. Now, she�s living by herself, tackling the renovations on a house which needs a lot of work.
M shared with me that she felt too overwhelmed to handle the tasks ahead � at one point, she was almost in tears. She felt bad about herself because she�d gained some weight, she was struggling with menopause, living by herself, pulled in several different directions by people who have learned to take advantage of her generous spirit and lacking a support system.
She felt really bad about herself and I could empathize. There have been times in my life when it seemed like I was surrounded by the ruins of the past and overwhelmed with the prospect of the future. The irony is, while M was running down the list of her faults, inadequacies and failures, all I could see was a remarkable woman!
This was a woman who�d endured heartache and abuse, who�d managed to raise four boys to be productive members of society � no small accomplishment as a couple, but to do it as a single mother is even more amazing! I could tell she�s a good friend to have, a caring mother and grandmother, really supportive and nurturing to others, giving back to her community and church. I looked at her and saw strength, integrity and courage.
M and I parted ways and just a few hours later someone approached me with a small ficus tree in a container. It was mainly sticks in a pot. It had a couple dozen green leaves on it, but the rest of it was covered in brown, dead and dying leaves. I couldn�t see the soil in the container; it was covered with dead leaves.
The owner of the ficus told me she�d transplanted the little tree into a bigger pot and moved it to a different location, where it could get better light. She did these things because she thought it would benefit the plant, but almost immediately the ficus began protesting by dropping its leaves. My experience with ficus is that they don�t like change. Even change that benefits them in the long run, a new location or more room to grow can cause them to drop leaves.
Now she was standing in front of me with the ficus, expecting me to pronounce it dead, read it �last rites� and tell her to throw it on the compost pile.
But not me! I looked at that little ficus tree with an experience eye. Yes, it was covered in brown leaves, yes it looked mainly like sticks, but I saw new growth. Tiny, bright green leaves, so tiny they were easily overlooked, were blooming at the top. I took one of the bare branches in my hand and turned in downward; it didn�t break, it bent. A dead branch would have broken, snapped right in two. But the branch bent, meaning there was plenty of life in the ficus.
I told the ficus owner to take it home, to keep watering and fertilizing it and to let it work out its issues. The plant owner was doing everything right, so it was only a matter of time before the ficus replenished its leaves, growing even bigger and more beautiful than before. That ficus had a lot of productive years ahead of it; it just needed time to adjust to its new environment.
As I was trying to get to sleep last night I made the connection between M and that ficus tree. M might look at herself in the mirror - other people may look at M - and see something that�s just a bunch of brown leaves and sticks. But a closer look from an experienced eye sees growth and life.
M is just in a transition period. Even while the old leaves are falling off, new leaves are blooming and growing. She may look - and feel - like sticks in a pot, but she is full of life, just waiting for the right time to bloom.
M � wherever you are � you may not feel it, or see it, so you just have to take my word for it. There are a lot of productive years ahead for you. You�re doing all the right things and your future includes more growth and beauty than you ever dreamed possible!
Trust me - I know these things!
