BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Will I be a good aunt?

Do you have to take the 'title'? My nieces just call me by my name without adding 'aunt'. Not a big deal in my family but others may not like it....

Hmm... I find it interesting the responses I'm getting to the amount of participation in my nieces lives. We spend a lot of time trying to make people understand how we don't feel the need to have children, but many of you take my lack of interest in spending time with my nieces as as badly as the general public takes our choice to not have kids.

"I think you are making mistake not enjoying your nephew or niece...I love being with them for Christmas time. Boy, I love watching them opening their Christmas presents and wrapping papers are scattering all over the living room. What a mess? It is wonderful to be Aunt." -Friendlygal

That sounds oddly close to, "You will regret having kids. They are so wonderful when they [fill in the blank of generic thing all kids do].

I am very close with my sister and my two brothers. The kids are a part of the package, and I deal with it. I'm just happy my family understands I don't enjoy them very much, and always saves me a seat as far away from them as possible at family events:)

Did you get some pm's on this too? [quote]I am very close with my sister and my two brothers. The kids are a part of the package, and I deal with it. I'm just happy my family understands I don't enjoy them very much, and always saves me a seat as far away from them as possible at family events:)[/quote] This I think explains the difference between you not 'forcing' time with your nieces and nephews and me 'having to' make the time. If you are very close with siblings with kids then you are spending a good amount of face time with the kids that just sorta happens when you are hanging/chatting with siblings. For me, I never call my sister....almost all communication goes via my mother or my brother in law. If I didn't make an effort to see my nieces, I would likely see them on the far side of dinner table three times a year (easter, thanksgiving and xmas) with very little interaction. That really isn't enough time for anyone to decide whether they 'like' each other no matter what the ages of the participants. And it would be strange to suddenly want to be their 'friend' at 16....

I love being an aunt. I have a niece and a nephew and several step-nieces and step-nephews and now a step-great-nephew. The step-great-nephew sort of freaks me out only because he makes me feel old, but he's really terribly cute.

My niece and nephew whom I've known since they were in the womb are now seniors in high school, and I feel so privileged to have had the opportunity to be in their lives. At the start, I was always around and was available for babysitting anytime I was needed. But later, as I got more and more depressed over not having my own kids (I am one of the few who is here by circumstance not choice), I avoided the kids. So I think I missed out on a great deal of their lives. However, I was welcomed back into the fold when they were in junior high, and I've been able to partake in a huge part of their lives recently. Seeing these kids go through high school, watching them make decisions about their future (even if I don't always agree with their choices), being a trusted adult means so much to me.

I don't know if my own circumstances are what make the difference, but I love being an aunt. I loved it when they were little, and I love it now. I kick myself sometimes for avoiding them when my own struggles seemed overwhelming.

I never had a close relationship with my aunts or uncles or cousins, and I feel like I missed out on something. I'm finally developing a relationship with one of my aunts and one of my cousins, but I sometimes feel like maybe it's too late.

I say, just enjoy the kiddo as much as possible, and be glad you can give the child back to Mom and Dad.

I was actually thinking she was trying to use you so she could get a break from holding her baby. I've had that happen to me before and I'm ok with it if I'm in a good mood, but most of the time I don't really like holding kids... and I think they can tell that I'm not really a kid person. :) So I end up handing them back pretty fast.

I feel no attachment to my niece and nephew, although I have only met the girl and that was when she was 6 months. My brother used to try to make me talk to them on the phone. I always told him no. Why would I want to talk to a 4 y/o on the phone? What a waste of time.

Lucky for me my bro lives in LA and I live in CA so I don't really have to deal with it. But I think for the most part my family all know I don't like kids and don't expect much from me when it comes to my niece and nephew.

Hi kat, I've just re read your post, and I can't tell you how refreshing it is ! I know we all should be gaga over kids - it's how we're brought up right...? Although I love my three step grandkids we don't see them now,as we're so far away, but when they were born we went to see them, and I loved holding them. then we had Jack when he was 3 months, as hubbys daughter wanted a holiday without child. we had him for a week. he was an angel. but OH MY GOD ! No way. we didn't speak for a week , other that talk about child, we didn't have sex for a week, and giving him back. fab. The thought of sitting around with other mothers talking nappies, and what their little darlings did the other day. BORING. I'm not going to apologize for feeling this way, as I feel finally other women are of the same opinion. ( Love you all ! ) when I was young we used to go to the pub on holidays and the women would sit in the lounge talking kids etc, and the men, and boys would be in the bar, where the snooker table was... I would always go with my dad and cousins to the bar, as this was way much more fun. I have nieces and nephews I've never met. Family are great when they're nice people and you have something in common, AND you enjoy their company. If not ? don't waste your time, life is too short, seek out good rewarding conversation with others like minded. And they will too.