BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Kids getting meaner?

I will tie this into the forum by saying that this is yet another reason I don't want kids...I don't want to be responsible for a rude, disrespectful brat. There is this field across the street from my house. Technically, it is no dogs allowed, but, I have spoken with the police officer that enforces this rule and he said that as long as the dogs are picked up after and the dog owners give the school children and baseball leagues right of way, he will let it go. So, I was playing with my dog in the empty field. An 8 yr old rode by on her bike, then rode onto the field. She yells "'scuse me!" and waves me over like a teacher does a misbehaving child. Thinking she needed something, I walked over to her. She proceeds to YELL at ME..an ADULT..for breaking the rules. I said "Its ok, I talked to Officer so and so and he said that I can have my dog in here" She goes "I don't CARE who you talked to. You gotta get yo dog outta here." So, I tried again "If you're scared, I can hold her until you get across, but, I'm allowed to be here" Even showed her my "spouse of a federal agent" badge quickly enough so she couldn't see it was a "spouse of" Badge. She continued to yell at me...my question, through all of this...do you guys think that children are getting more disrespectful and rude with each generation, and if so, why do you think that is? I almost asked this brat if she could come with me on my next doctor's visit to show my dr why I need a tubal ligation NOW instead of when I'm 36...

I do see the change with disrespectful children. Whenever that happens to me, I get a VERY, clear picture of the parents.

If you have a mom, with hand on hip, opinionated, rude, criticizing everything and everyone, guess what pop-tart's going to fly out of that toaster?

You take a level headed mom or dad or both and you'll have a mixture, at least a child that can be reasoned with.

I have a rule of thumb though. If someoen wants something badly enough from me, they can walk over to me, unless of course they are hurt. I've had kids and soon to be adults inour area scream at me, but I just keep wakling or I may slow down but when they just keep yelling, in my mind, it wasn't that important to begin with.

On the other hand, when you have a really polite and genuinely nice child to be around, it really makes you appreciate both the chld and the parents that took the time to teach them to be respectful of others, all others.

Unfortunately it is the result of our society going from bad to worse, mixed with bad parenting, in my opinion.

My sister-in-law tells me horror stories about her niece who is only 5. The niece is always telling her off and says bad words that my sil wonders where the hell she heard them (school). She tells me that at 5, she already has an "attitude". When she's babysitting her, she'll act like she's queen of the house.
Then again, I know the niece's parents and only feel sorry for the little girl! They are horrible in the way they are bringing her up (they spoil her one moment and yell (I mean YELL) at her the next). I already can see her going through terrible teenage years.

Plato, and to some extent Socrates, also complained about this problem. So is it social or perceptual?

swearbear,

I agree. I see kids at the stores and around town, and sometimes their behavior blows my mind. I was never like some of the kids you see nowadays. I do think poor parenting plays a big factor but I also know that the role of children in the family has changed a lot over the last 6 decades. children seem to be overly spoiled and put on pedestals like they are little princes and princesses.

I have several co-worker who children - all under 10 - have cell phones, tv in their rooms, ipods, xbox, wii, computers and fashion clothes in their rooms, not to mention one has a 6k fort in the backyard to play in. uh, I came from an upper middle class family and I had none of that! I asked for a regular land line phone in my room when I was 14 and told NO WAY. Parents need to stop spoiling their bratty kids. you know how I got things I wanted as I kid? I earned money raking leaves, shoveling snow, pulling weeds and doing misc chores for a few bucks. luxury items were simply not handed to me.

but back to what happened to you. Girl, you should have let that little girl have it. tell her to mind her own business and cut her off whenever she tried to berate you. I would never have talked that way to an adult as a kid and I certainly wouldn't take it from an 8 yr old bully. she is going to grow up to be the lady in the office that no one likes...or be in prison. I can see that kind of boldness escalating as she gets older into violence. you dont owe an explanation of what you are doing to a kid. I would never explain myself to a kid. EVER. I'm big, your small. go play with your bratz dolls. this is adult business here.

AMEN, Marie! My feelings exactly on everything you said. Nobody should take disrespect from a bratty little kid. The problem is that nobody has put this little sh-t in her place. Again this is all due to poor parenting, and these parents wonder why they have no control in their own house.

There is something to be said for the old fashioned way of raising kids. I am not an advocate for child abuse, but a whack now and then made you a bit afraid to do wrong, and as a result you respected your parents and learned some much needed values in life. Luxury items for me were few and far between as well, and they were worked for BIG TIME. These items were appreciated and cherished once received, not like today where kids get everything they ask for, or close to it. When the novelty wears off the toy or game is tossed into the closet and the new flavor of the month is demanded. A lot of these games and gimmicks are extremely expensive, and yet parents just hand them over to their kids.

There are still some great parents out there raising wonderful children, but it just seems that selfish, self-centered, and disrespectful kids are fast becoming the norm.

earlier,one of our neighbors yelled at her bratty kids,"why don't you sit down?!? are you two testing me?!?" I let out a contented,happy "hmm" because I wouldn't be experiencing the same hell she is experiencing now with her kids. about your post,I see that the girl will grow up into a mean bully.you don't really own her an explanation.if I were you I would have said,"my dog's much,much nicer than you".

I read recently a book called (in German): "Why our children become tyrants". A best-seller for weeks in Germany, which says a lot. Written by a psychiatrist specialized in children behavior problems. He says basically that, starting in the eighties, people have been thinking too much about child upbringing, and have lost somehow "parental instincts". He basically mentions three areas where parents are often doing something wrong. I only remember two:
1) Parents have too much empathy with their kids. So if kids cry because they want something stupid, they will remember when they were kids and wanted something stupid too and the kid will get what s/he wants.
2) Parents treat their children as they were grown-ups. They will watch TV shows and talk about things that are totally inappropriate, they will be given too much freedom, and often, when they want their way, parents will think they have a kid with a strong personality, instead of thinking that they have a little kid that doesn't know any better. Example: I met a woman I know a couple of days ago with her little 2 year old. It was a very sunny day and she was wearing rubber boots... from different pairs. I commented the fact and the mother told me: she wanted it that way and I don't want to (I am translating here) stifle her personality.

So pretty much, this guy is saying that kids need boundaries and discipline, that it is too much to demand that a kid takes decisions, s/he needs somebody taking them for them, kids need patterns, learning to tell right from wrong.

He advocates such old fashioned things as sending a kid out of the room when grown up things are been discussed, telling them to be quiet when adults are talking. Do things right, with no need on the child's part to understand why (a 2 year old won't understand that her feet melt in the stupid boots), but because mom or dad says so. Taking constantly decisions without being prepared for it is a lot of stress for a child and the perfect recipe for low frustration levels.

Solalux, I've been thinking that for years. I taught for 16 years, and people were putting too much responsibility in their kids' hands way too early. And way too much pressure on them too. But I know that if I ever said anything, I'd be countered with, "You don't have kids, so how could you know anything?" When you're on the outside looking in, sometimes you see things the ones inside can't see. Sometimes you can see a bit bigger picture.

Kids don't get a chance to learn from their experiences anymore. They seem to be coddled and protected way more than necessary. I've even seen kneepads for babies who are learning to crawl. Seriously? Kneepads? Babies have a ton of protective fat over their knees to protect them when they're crawling. There's no need for kneepads. Anyway, my rant is over. I hope that guy's book makes it to the USA. We could sure use it over here.

I just read an article about a kid who held his class hostage at gun point. I made a comment at the bottom about how bad the world is getting and that it is too dangerous to bring more people into the world and here are the 7 comments I got in response:

If this is a reason for not bringing children into the world then you are a hopeless person. Not to mention self-involved and self-centered.

ok ginger.

I wonder if your parents shared the same sentiments? Maybe the problem is that you don't feel qualified to raise a child properly? Either way, it speaks volumes about a person when they say something like that.

Can't find a man?

I totally agree with you, bringing kids into this crazy world is something to really think about.....Please don't tell my kids....LOL

good we dont need your kind anyway.

good excuse.