BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Top Three Tips for Happy Relationship

What would you list as the top three tips that keep a relationship happy and strong?

Communication.
Communication.
Communication.

And sex.

Uh, Deanna, you listed four!

Top three tips for a happy relationship? Here are my ABCs:
1. Accept each other, warts and all.
2. Be each other's best buddy who can share fun, laughter and troubles.
3. Connect in mind, body and spirit (intellectual stimulation, sexual union, spiritual understanding).

And sex.

Those are awesome Lori!

Are they pretty easy to stick to?

I would have to say that my hubby and I are pretty good friends, but we don't really have a spiritual connection. However, he completely supports my spiritual beliefs, and doesn't bat an eye when I say I was astral traveling, had a vision or saw a spirit LOL.

Ok - I should have asked for four. These are all good tips. I would list the same.

What does "spiritually connected" mean to you?

Well, we're all spiritually connected whether we believe that or not.

But for a *happy* relationship, I think you need to feel at least some spiritual understanding or respect. You may not share all of your beliefs, but you come to at least accept that your partner believes what he/she believes on a spiritual level. Optimally, you'll vibrate at the same energy level. If you don't, there will be constant friction and disharmony.

Deanna, you and your husband have spiritual respect and that is vital.

In my relationship, we had very different spiritual beliefs and it was a great source of pain until we reached the point where we 1. accepted each other's viewpoints and that they were right for where we were at that moment of our journey and 2. were willing to grow through exploration and open-mindedness. Now, our spirituality is pretty much on the same course and it is so so exciting as we discover new ideas together!

It isn't hard to stick at all to stick to the ABCs, although there are times when we come face-to-face with our own weaknesses and struggle to grow! But we allow ourselves and each other to make mistakes and to be human and to disappoint each other on occasion. And always have loving arms to run to. I truly am blessed with my marriage.

At first I wanted to say that "spiritually connected" means that we have lots to talk about on our spiritual journey. That we are in sync with how we feel about spiritual matters, and how we understand our connection to each other, and all things. We watch "Ghost Hunters," talk about angels, past lives, and all that!

But after reading Lori's post, I think I've expanded that.

That can be a description of being spiritually connected, but actually seems more like just have spiritual stuff in common. But I think, after all, my hubby and I are spiritually connected. He's respectful of my beliefs, even though he doesn't understand most of them LOL. And I'm okay with him not being interested in my interests.

We support each other, and no matter what we may find to fight about, we manage to find our way back to each other.

HA HA.... Now I can see where sometimes my husband and I don't vibrate at the same level, cuz man can I feel that friction at times! But he feels it too, and it's a good indicator that we just need to work our way back toward each other.

That's really cool that you and your hubby were able to grow towards each other spiritually.

I do feel blessed - I used to have a girlfriend whose boyfriend told her that he thought her beliefs were stupid,a and she was stupid for buying into them. That was so awful! I feel so blessed to have a man who, though he doesn't understand my beliefs, he'd never call me stupid.

Well, I really had to question my priorities. How in the world could I stay with a man who could not share what was the most important part of me? But it forced me to live my beliefs instead of just thinking my beliefs.

Because at the heart of all religions and any spiritual path, I think, is coming to the understanding that the most important thing about life and humanity is love. Am I going to put religious dictates or my self-centered spiritual quest above the ability (both privilege and responsibility) to love? How hypocritical of me to say that I am abandoning this man or attaching strings to my love for him but strive to practice unconditional love (in the manner that I believe God loves us).

No matter that he gave me plenty of other reasons to want to leave, each time I stayed and simply loved him, our relationship got stronger and more joyful. It might have been hard to practice unconditional love but the fruits of such love are worth the effort.

In fact, when you truly love someone unconditionally, the things that once bothered you about that person don't bother you any longer. Mother Teresa once said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

I think that my previous spiritual practices made him feel as though he were being judged if he did not share my beliefs. As I accepted him, warts and all, he softened and opened up to spiritual ideas.

I try my best to focus on my love for my husband and often end up laughing about the very things that used to bug me about him. Some of his quirks are, dare I admit, endearing to me now.

Aw Lori.... such sweetness.

You are such an inspiration; so very loving! Really walking the walk!

I started a pretty severe, four week diet, back in July. Dropping weight so rapidly affected me emotionally. I got very upset at my husband, and started journaling about all the things that were really bugging me. I got to a point where I thought "I should just LEAVE him!!!"

And the funny thing was, the more I journaled about the negative things he did, the worse he got! And he wasn't reading my journal. It was just my expectation of him changed him.

So, I decided I needed to stop blaming him, and I started journaling a list of the things he did that I was grateful for. Happy and thankful changed him - like immediately!

We don't realize that when we complain to others about someone, it affects them on an energetic level, and they will fall into line with that energy - fulfill our expectations of them.

The funny thing was that I'd figured this out a couple of years ago when we'd been having so many problems, and it was REALLY helpful to keep my gratitude journal. It was at that point I promised myself I wouldn't complain about my kids either - they are affected by us too.

But I guess with the weight loss, and all the side affects, I was just messed up LOL!

So glad to be feeling better (emotionally and physically) NOW!!

You are SO right Lori! We walk the walk when we love others without judging them. And what better place to start than in our own homes.