BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image losing a lot of weight didn't help

I think that is the problem with a lot of self-esteem issues. We look at what the "rules" say we should be and what we should feel, and if we don't we feel like a failure.

In many ways, I am thankful that my father always put me down growing up - it made me become a stronger person and being a sci fi geek girl also helped me to realise that the rules don't belong to me!

The hardest thing you can do is to look inside your self and ask "what do I really want to be". Once you answer that question HONESTLY then you can start to change your self image.

I'm turning 43 this year - and am a size 24 and have been a large person all my life. I still have a lot of self doubts - and have actually been told by one of the Project Managers I work for that I have to stop undervaluing myself and my skills - he then said that I am the Project Admin that all the other PM's want supporting their projects because I am the one that gets things done. It gave me a big lift and helped me to change my self image just that little bit more.

What do I want? I want to be happy with my beloved (I am - but would like him to be in the same country as me!)and to have a job that I love and that is secure. I'm taking the steps towards all of these - and, ultimately, our happiness is up to us.

My advice - turn round, give a rude sign to the world and say STUFF THE RULES. Obey the "Popeye" principal - I AM WHAT I AM.

Go and do something you think is outrageous - start small and go and see that kids movie you want so much to see (even if you don't have any kids to take). Or sit in the park and eat that ice cream cone. Other people can think what they want - we should take joy in being individuals.

You are beautiful the way that you are and if you feel like there is something missing in your life then take charge and go out to get it. Most of the time when I get a little depressed, I find a project to do that I have wanted to do for a long time. The excitement of doing something new definitely takes my mind off of things and I cheer up almost immediately because variety is the spice of life. Get out there and try something new. You will thank me.

More than the weight loss, I commend all the women who posted for being brave enough to discuss their issues. It takes a special kind of woman to do that publicly. Like most of you, I too have major weight concerns and am struggling to lose the weight. Last night I met with my life coach who's helping me with a weight management program that I recently signed up for, and she recommended that I read the book "Being Happy" by Andrew Johnston. I hope this book will help. I'm off to get myself a copy from the bookstore :)

Amazing weight loss and some lovely comments here, we have all lost weight and feel better for it but we need to consider the whole picture and work each day on being nice to ourselves and making sure each day we do something we enjoy and that makes us feel good about being alive.

ChelleSpiritualityEditor wrote "Well, mostly separate. My being overweight is more a symptom of the Depression, not the other way around (which is what society tries to make us think)." This is great information! Thanks:)

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Every girl has their own beauty, that's my opinion and you just have to find your own view of beauty :) overweight girl has problem and skinny girl has problem too no one is perfect :) _________________________ [url=http://www.regencyshop.com/Bar-Stools/c33/index.html]bar stools[/url] clearance sale going on now...

I use to be 125lbs now i'm 170 i hate it i'm on anti depressents and i think that's why i'm gaining does any one know a anti depressent that makes you lose wait if i go off my pills i'll hit please let me know thank you, shelly1019

Firstly, congratulations on your weightloss! That is a huge accomplishment and something you should be proud of. The thing is, that if we always put a condition on what will give us happiness ( I will be happy when I lose 10 pounds, get a better job, kids grow up etc. etc.) we are never satisfied when those external conditions are met.www.wellbridal.comwww.wellbridal.com I agree with Sindri, tackle the depression issues and take one day at a time.

Have you asked your dr? Weight gain (and libido issues) are common depression med side effects. Ask your dr to try you on a different set of meds and see if they effect you differently.