BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage How can I stop my husband to make fun of me?

I'm sorry that I made some flippant comments up there. But think about professional comics who make a living with sarcasticm and cruel put-downs like Don Rickles, David Spade, and such. Some people just have an insensitive streak in them.

If your husband is kind, loving, attentive for the most part...if your marriage is otherwise satisfactory......and if you feel he expresses consistent love for you when he is not trying to be "funny", then he really is just lame at making jokes.

Draw the line though. Tell him to stop the jokes about you. Tell him he can make jokes about himself but not about you.

Obviously, he has NO RESPECT for you, and that is the most important aspect of a marriage. He will Not improve his ways. You cannot change him. You have a choice - stay with him and take his hurtful ways or leave, start a new life and make sure the next man in your life loves you as you are and RESPECTS you.

cp

I discussed my husband to go to marriage counseling. As a result, he agreed with me if I really want to go. While we were talking, he repeated his explanaitons that he'd never intended to hurt my feeling. It is tough to let him admit that his words are affected to me badly. According to him, he was NOT teasing me. For examle, repeating to say "Sagging tit" is not funny at all for me..., but he was shaking his head and excused, "I never make fun of you" "Never!" I don't know whether the marriage counseling works us or not. And also he replied, "All of what I say is inconsequence. Trivia." Very charming manipulation. I don't know what I should do with him becasue he never admit it.

Go to counseling. It will take another person to explain just how and why the words he is saying are mean. They are not trivial. They are worse than teasing. They are insults.

Regardless of what HE thinks about what he says to you, ultimately it's how it makes YOU feel that matters. If it bothers you in any sense he should be respectful of that. Making fun of you in front of his friends isn't appropriate, and he seems really immature. Counseling sounds like a positive move, and I hope that helps to improve things. Good luck.

Thank you, everyone. He told me a moment ago. He does not believe that the marriage counseling will work for us. We went back the past stage again. On the last weekend, his one of female friend visited our house. I don't know why she had brought up the following words against me... She said..., "You need to be grow accustomed to tease and be teased because WE American people do that most of the times." I said to her back that I am very annoyed to be teased all the time everyday. She replied..., "We DO all the time. Teasing is called a type of affection." Would you read and analyze her intention, please? I cannot understand becasue she is a nice person and also my friend. Why did she say it to me??? What is she trying to do? P.S. I am grateful to Ms. Chi-Japanese Food that you posted many times for me. Thanks.

You're welcome, lluvia. I feel your pain. If your husband honestly believes this is just harmless teasing, tell him that he needs to say one good thing about you for every "bad joke" he says about you.

As for your friend, she's trying to help you and your husband. She doesn't want you to feel hurt about the joking and teasing. But did she hear the exact words that come from your husband's mouth? She would feel hurt, too.

Teasing is ok if it is really just teasing. If he is teasing, then he will spend time saying loving things to you, too.

Hello After I screamed to the death in front of my husband's face, he finally stopped making fun of my bodily figures. We had a peaceful time only for a month, but now he starts to enjoy teasing me in a different way about other things. He believes that he is very cute and funny when he gives me good words AFTER he makes fun of me terribly. He likes this contrast. Is this common way? Although I keep telling him that I hate it, he continues it. As usual, he insists he is not wrong because he is just kidding me. He always have a indulgence. I tried to break this pattern, but nothing works. I quit arguing with him because it's useless. I am so tired of being a sacrifice of his jokes. Do you have any better idea for us? Or is there anyone who has the similar experience?

Do you realize what will happen to you???????? Your self esteem will be severly damaged....you will think less and less of yourself as time goes on if you stay with this loser.......in my opinion.

He WILL NOT change his ways.

cp

Why not you also take part in his funny jokes. It will show that you are also enjoying him. Good luck