BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage Trying again?

I had a m/c April 20th at 6w 3d. I got the go ahead from my OB to try again, now my husband doesn't want to try. He says he can't see me go through that again. I am 39 and have 2 children already, but this was going to be his first. Because of age, I think we need to try before we get any older. I can't help but feel angry and hurt. Has anyone else had to deal with this?

Thank you flower70 for the response.

I can totally relate to you! I, too, am 39 and have 2 children. We had to go off of birth control in late December because of blood pressure issues and ended up getting pregnant in January. Even though we weren't using protection, we weren't trying to get pregnant so we were completely surprised by the news! (I had to take fertility drugs with my other children in order to get pregnant.) I found out in February that I had a blighted ovum and miscarried in March. I wanted to try again but my husband didn't want to at all. He said he couldn't see me go through that again..like it was going to happen again for sure or something! Anyway, I really want to have a baby because I feel like my age is my biggest enemy and I feel like I'm in a race against time to convince him to try again. I wonder, though, if I really want a baby or if I just want the baby I didn't get to have.

Hi 2mths ago I lost Our baby. We were supposed to be 11 weeks, I started bleeding and at the hospital they discovered it's heart had stopped beating at 8 weeks just 2 days after an ultra sound showing its little heart beating at 150 beats a min. We had a D&C that night. I have grieved deeply and so has my husband. I am 39 with a 16 year old son my husband and I both want a child of our own, his first. Until last week our sex life was as normal but in the last week I have had trouble responding to him and he has had a couple of off nights as well. We both want to try again but I am really scared it will happen again and think this could be part of the problem for me. We both are scared. This is the week we would be ovulating so its no coincidence. I am worried this could effect our marriage if this continues. It has been a very hard couple of months for us but through out it once we got the all clear to be intimate again we dove right in. A lot of people told us they had been through it but none offered advice on how they got through it. Has anyone been through this and can they offer advice please. I love my husband and desire a complete intimate relationship, not just to go through the motions to have a baby.

I had my first miscarriage when i was 38. It was an awful experience (no spotting or warningss - just my insides coming out when I went to the toilet and hour long horrific cramps) and I had a tough few weeks of depression afterward. It was my first pregnancy and we had been trying for over a year. The miscarriage happened at 12 weeks although the Dr said the baby had died at around 10 weeks - which was about when my nausea ended.

I was terrified to get pregnant again because the miscarriage was such a traumatic experience for me. But my husband and I both really wanted to have a child. It took me a while to gather up the courage to try again and I told myself I would try one more time. If I miscarried again, I wouldn't try a third time. I felt I could go through a second miscarriage but not a third. I waited 5 months before trying again and then it took another 3 months to get pregnant.At first I was anxious but I was extremely nauseous and I figured as long as I was nauseous, that was a "good" thing. i carried that baby full term and we now have a son who is almost 2 years old. We're trying again, but I've just had a second miscarriage. I'll be 41 next month and I am of course saddened by this miscarriage, but I KNOW I'm healthy and can carry a baby full term. So I'll try again.

I think we all go through this type of experience differently. Even now, in the midst of my 2nd miscarriage I can see how differently I'm reacting. The huge hormonal swings associated with a miscarriage can cause some serious depression - like it did for me last time. But this time, I'm just disappointed. Also, the extreme bleeding and strong cramping that I had last time was very traumatic. Something I hope never to experience again. This time I have no cramping and only light bleeding. I'll never forget how I felt after that 1st miscarriage and how hesitant I was to try again. But I'm so glad we did try again.

My thoughts go out to you marksgirl. I�m glad you have a healthy son also. Don�t give of hope.

Thank you Marksgirl for your advice. as you said at least we know we can get pregnant and are healthy. I know they said at the hospital that it happens more frequently in older women but that does not make it any easier to go through. I had a miscarriage when I was younger and consoled my self that I was still young and I would have another baby. This time it just knocked me to my knees with the grief I have been feeling. I haven't talked much to anyone other than my husband and I know I shut down on my pain till I could deal with it better. That might not have been a good thing to do but I didn't know what else to to help my husband through his grief and my own at the same time. I am luckily married to a man that doesn't have any problem sharing his feelings so that has made it easier.

Hi everyone. I had a miscarriage two weeks ago. It was my first pregnancy and I was 8 weeks pregnant. We had been trying for almost a year and were absolutely over the moon when we found out that I was finally pregnant. I started spotting brown spotting for about a week. This didnt panic me. It wasnt until I has some red spotting one night when I wiped. I just froze. I was so scared. I went to the doc and he sent me to the hospital for an u/s. We saw our baby with a strong heartbeat. It was just amazing. We were so happy. They said that the bleeding should ease off and stop but it didnt and that same night I could feel a lot of blood coming. I went to the toilet and miscarried our little baby onto the floor of the bathroom. I didnt know what to do. I rang the gyn ward in the hospital and they told me to come straight in and bring 'what I had passed' with me. We went in and had another u/s and even though I knew in my heart that it was gone I looked hoping and praying at the screen for our little angel but it was gone. They said that there was some afterbirth still in my uterus and gave me an injection to induce labour for me to pass it. Agony all night but still no afterbirth so the next step was another u/s and finally a D&C. I bled non stop for a week after. What a horrible horrible time. I had been using a fertility monitor and decided to use it to see if my body would come back to normal or not. Im on day 12 now and have high fertility which usually comes just before peak fertility so by all appearances it looks as though im about to ovulate again so soon. Could this be right? If so with having a D&C and everything would it be safe to try again this month without having a period first? We are even more determined to have a baby now after what has happened. I know it will never replace the angel baby that we lost but we are even more broody now than ever before. Im just so scared of losing another so soon after our first little angel (or indeed ever again). We are both in our early 30s and as I said had been trying for a year for our first so time isnt exactly on our sides. I really dont want to endanger another babys life by rushing into it but really are pining for a child. We have so much love to give. Sorry it was so long but felt I needed to give some back ground on my situation. Any advice would be very much appreciated.