I'm so sorry Jeannie. Please don't feel embarrassed for posting here. So many of us have kids of the feline and canine species, and we totally understand. I lost one of my kitties, Ellie, 2 years ago to cancer (she was only 6 years old!), and it still hurts.
If there's one thing I know though, it's that childfree people are some of the best, most responsible, loving (sometimes misconstrued as a bit nutty) pet owners on the planet. And, I'm sure that your little kitty had the best 5 years any kitty could possibly have. My heart goes out to you.
-D.