BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids I wonder whether people think we are child haters?

Just thinking aloud really, I don't mind kids, I prefer to be in situations without them, they annoy me but I don't think I hate them.. How do you feel?

I think most people who choose to be childfree don't dislike children. In fact, I've seen so many posts on here and stories about the childfree that are about people who work with children for a living, be it teachers or nurses or whatever. They just don't have a need to do it themselves.

Unfortunately, when it comes to convincing the parents of the world that childfree people aren't "child haters," I'm not helping the cause very much. I actually don't like children. Obviously I'm not overtly mean to them or anything; I simply avoid them when possible. If I can't avoid them, I'm perfectly capable of being pleasant to them while internally screaming in my head, "Get it away from me!" People are always telling me how good I am with children; I swear I must deserve an Oscar. I do pretty okay with teenagers I guess, hormonal monsters that they are, at least I can semi-reason with them.

It doesn't bother me what people think or say behind my back. First off I never publicly berate people for having children because they are a necessary evil, after all. In fairness I wouldn't expect others to publicly berate me for choosing not to associate with children or have them myself. I have always been polite to children despite being uncomfortable and upset by them in close proximity. This means that I can go to Disney World and have a perfectly good time but if a child is sitting on my lap I can't deal. As long as people and their children mind their business I am a live-and-let-live kind of person. I would prefer to not ever have them close by me and I will go out of my way to avoid them whenever possible, but I won't avoid something that happens to have children at it like a zoo because the good outweighs the bad there. I stay within five miles of Chuck E. Cheese though, for example. If a child is in the seat behind me in an airplane I'm an unhappy passenger, but if a child is six rows ahead of me I'm fine. That said, nobody has ever called me a child-hater to my face but if they did it wouldn't be the worst thing they could say. All in all I wouldn't personally say I hate children so much as I hate having my personal space and privacy invaded. If a 70-year old woman felt the need to repeatedly kick me in the head at the movie theater then I wouldn't say I hate old ladies, I'd say I hate rude people who don't keep to themselves.

I don't hate children, but, I hate anyone who is impolite...which is..for the most part, un-trained children...so I have been told I hate children...as a matter of fact, at the wedding I just went to, people asked me when I was going to have babies. I politely said that my husband and I don't want to have children and was told "you must really hate them, huh? Is this wedding hell for you since there are children here?" I was also told that the reason I didn't allow children at my 6pm-11pm wedding reception with an open bar and loud music was because I was jealous of my cousin for having a baby...um..yeah...obviously, she's the only one that can reproduce and I'm soooo jealous.

Yes, I remember that swearbear!! Unbelievable!! I feel the same way I just wondered what the perceptions are out there, it's interesting isn't it?

Wow, sounds like the people that are making these comments are the haters. Perhaps they are jealous of YOU or regretting their own decisions to procreate.

I've been accused of hating a lot of things. Apparently I hate children because I don't want children, hate religion because I personally am not religious, and hate marriage because I don't feel the need to get married. However, it's quite the opposite. I like it when people do things that are right for them - if they want to be religious, that's fantastic for them, if they want kids more power to them, and if they want to get married, definitely invite me to the wedding, I love to see people getting the things they want! Those just aren't the things that everyone wants, even though society tells us that's what we should want...

I too prefer to avoid situations where kids will be, I don't hate them but I do dislike how they take over and the inevitable reprimands and battle of wills it all entails. I just can't be bothered with it all and in no way find any of it rewarding to be part of the scene. That said sometimes it isn't realistic to avoid them altogether, I have just spent the last three days in the company of small people as I wanted to visit my sister and as she has now chosen to live with her daughter and family they come as a package. What I did do was lessen the involvement by going when the kids were at school so that made it a lot easier. They are great kids and like me a lot but that said I still don't want to spend all day with them!!!On a side note I did have to listen to my heavily pregnant niece tell me how great it was now the children were more self sufficient thus letting her get a longer lie in etc,I wanted to say are you mad then cause that is sure going to change when number three makes an appearance???Her husband wants her to have a number 4......she's 38 just now and he works away,the career her parents spent a fortune on has never been realised and as you can see from her age and situation it isn't ever likely to.She knew she wanted this lifestyle from the off so why on earth did she put her parents to all that expense I will never know....Another reason I am happy to be CF

I am like a lot of you on this post -- I don't dislike children but have a discomfort factor with them and often avoid social situations that involve children. Sometimes I don't feel right about it, because almost all of my friends have kids, and I put my self in the position of avoiding them because of this (We were much closer when they were all childless). Does anyone have good advice on dealing with this, being the kind of person I am?

I don't hate kids and it shows. I don't think anyone has ever thought I hated children.

Growing up I babysat all the kids in my family. Even to this day I sometimes fuss over the newborn kids in the family. I also take out my niece in law and her cousins out on nice little outings occasionally. So to the outside world, I don't think I come off as a child hater. Never been told that anyway.

I think my decision to be childfree confused everyone. I still think they believe I'm confused or something. Like I'm just fooling myself and I'll one day come around and have children like the rest of them. Little do they know how I truly feel inside. As much as i love kids, I have absolutely zero desire to have and raise any of my own. But as we all know, not many understand that.

I can't believe people actually said that to you Swearbear. Some people can be so ignorant and rude. Sad thing is, it's not always jealousy that causes people to say such things. Sometimes it's just plain stupidity and ignorance.