BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement It can last a lifetime...

Bereavement can last a life time -- although eventually it goes to a quieter place. Love never dies and grows stronger as the years go by. I lost my father almost twenty years ago and I still miss him. The pain of loss has gradually been replaced by joy in remembering how much he loved life, Nature, animals, people, and me.

Father's Day was so difficult for me each year after Dad passed away. Now I find the peace and joy in memories. I often feel his spirit walking with me and guiding me as he did in life.

Not a day goes by that I do not thank him for all the little things and all the great things he taught me. When I find joy in being in and of Nature, I thank my father - for he taught me to walk in peace and harmony with all Creation.

Phyllis, do you have any sibling? I'm just curious.

And I know that you walk with your father still, in spirit, in other realms.

Hi Chi,

Yes, I do have siblings -- two sisters and three surviving brothers. We each have different memories, thoughts and emotions in regards to our father. He taught me how to grow spiritually and that has helped me immensely over the years in many areas of my life. He was a very spiritual man.

About 12 years ago, a girlfriend of mine was killed in a car wreck. I never knew that much pain, until what I had was gone. I took a lot of things for granted, but all I can really say about that is when I was at her funeral, all I can remember hoping was that she was O.K., ironic isn't it? I'd like to believe that she's around. Maybe I'm just superstitious? Or maybe I'm having an identity crisis. I find that when I experience loss in even small ways, it seems like its too much for me at times. Maybe I'm just too sensitive, or maybe I just think too much. After all I do live inside my head.

AllinSpades, if you can share these feelings with others then you are on your way to healing. Remember that an old love never dies, it just goes to a quieter place. The pain does ease with time. I sometimes still feel pain about losing loved ones (my father, my brother, my brother-in-law) but the pain is now a reminder of how much they gave me in life, how much I loved them and how much they loved me -- from that first hit of pain that sneaks up on me sometimes I drift into joyful memories that bring me peace.

I often feel my lost loved ones with me, especially my father, and it makes me realize they are ok, at peace, and that I will be ok. I even sometimes feel my grandfather's hand on my shoulder when I am sad. My grandfather passed away over 50 years ago, when I was 13. He was always there for me when I was a child and understood my feelings. So - I do not think you are too sensitive, just in touch with your feelings and aware that your girlfriend loved you and left you with loving memories.

Writing about your feelings in a journal and sharing your feelings with others who have lost loved ones is a good way to endure and heal. Praying for peace and understanding also helps. Whatever your faith/belief system is, prayer does help.