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If your husband is ok with your being a CF homemaker it really shouldn't matter to anyone else! Do what makes you happy! I work 40 hours plus and trust me I rather be home cooking, cleaning and gardening...and believe me I've thought about it!! :)

[quote=happyas2]I teach some private music lessons, but my mother-in-law said to me the other day "Nowadays, women have to work!" (she never did) I don't know if she was judging me as not working because it's not full-time or not. As I talked about some volunteer work I was doing, she said "But that's VOLUNTARY!" I guess I can't talk to her. My husband told her what a great cook I am. He's wonderful. [/quote] Similar thing happened to me...I was telling my MIL that I wanted to eventually move to a house so we have a yard for the dog and a place for me to barbecue and her reply was "Well, then I guess you need to get a job."

Aw. Sorry she said that.

I shouldn't be too hard on mine. She is 85 years old. I'm almost ashamed to tell you that.

Part of it is my own feelings. I left my part-time job because of health reasons. I tried to find another PT job when I was feeling better, but nothing. The economy is bad here anyway, so I'm embracing my life as it is. It sounds like most of you do too. Nothing wrong with it, right?

When someone says something like that about working I used to get defensive because I had a problem with it sometimes. As much as I love staying home working I knew I could earn more outside and I felt guilty for it so those kinds of comments drew out my own inferiority complex. I just had to take a breath and ruminate on whether what the person said was so horrible or if I blew it out of proportion in my mind. Usually it was the latter. Things have been looking up for me so I don't feel as bad as I did a year ago about it. I think I'm actually saving money on car maintenance and gas now. At least when someone makes childfree comments I never have to fight an internal battle, I'm 100% supportive of myself on that one.

hey this is for you and ellavemia....I understand what you guys are saying as far as comments go. Whether you have a little complex about it or not.My guess is that people become a bit envious when they see a woman who didn't have to bear the responsibilty of kids OR work a full time job. Many women feel that they HAVE to do one or both of those things...and surrender to outside pressures. A friend of mine made a sarcastic comment about how, "it must be nice to work part time." When I reminded her of how she used to work PT she said, "oh but we're going to try for another baby." My response was, "Your choosing to have a child, and the result is you will need to work FT." iguess you're right, she said. Props to us on being true to ourselves!

It all depends on the marriage and what you're happy with. I'm a CF "Homemaker" right now. Planning on finishing school soon and working on a career. I also plan to work on a children's book someday. Until then, hubby is fine with me being home. And I have to admit, it's not too bad. My hubby makes enough for the two of us and we get by quite well. For now anyway.

My mother was a stay at home mom until I hit around my pre-teen years. She really wasn't cut out for it though. I think staying home made her really unhappy. I saw a big difference in her when she started working again.

Some women hate staying home while others love it. We are fulfilled differently.

Yes, our choice to be child-free actually frees us up from having to make more money and work full-time.

And yes, it's probably my own feelings that make me feel insecure.

Plus, I really would like to get out of the house more.

Today, I'm visiting my sister, who just had twins. I'm making her a soup with lots of veggies and she just wants my company. I'm always reading and taking classes, so I'm good for conversation if she is just sitting and nursing.

I definitely want to check out that book. I've always enjoyed the homemaking part of my life. I quilt, garden, do home remodeling, etc. It does make it funny though, being CF, if you're not working (outside of the home) to explain yourself to people. I always laugh at the conversation: Random person-"So, you don't have kids, don't work, what do you do?" Now I'm back in school, but it's not like if you're "just" staying home that you don't have anything to keep you busy.

SeaShell
When ppl say 'what do you do all the time? (being that you don't have kids and don't work out of your home)'.... A really good answer is "just whatever I want to". (she smiles)

cp

I thought of this post yesterday when a neighbor asked me, "what do you do all day?" usually i'd get nervous! but i realized, I LIKE BEING A PT HOMEMAKER AND ANYONE WHO'S AGAINST IT CAN BE BECAUSE THIS ISN'T THEIR LIFE! So anyway, I responded, "well, I read alot, and work on lesson plans for dance, mainly I'm a part time homemaker part time dance teacher. It's nice not having children hasallowed me the option to dedicate my time and energy to my two greatest passions, dance and my husband!"


I'm happy to be "different"!!!