BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids No Regrets EVER!!

Hi this statement has probably been exhausted by now but here it is.....I am so glad i have found this site and sooooooo glad I don't have kids. It is so refreshing to be able to say that and not feel the wrath of all those moms who think how dare she not want what we have!!! What annoys me is its okay for people to say to a pet owner oh I hate animals, don't understand how you can can have them but I ain't allowed to say the same about kids, double standards methinks? Some people are just so wrapped up in their own world, we even had my husbands brother ask if he could leave the upbringing of his kids to us in his will!!!My husband then told him sorry but we don't have them by choice, if we don't want our own them why would we want someone elses, it wasn't as if he didn't have plenty of other close relatives,to chose from.He has been very frosty since then but that suits me as he visits less with his little darlings! I have really enjoyed the chance to rant a bit and in taking time off rehearsing my speach for when I meet my neighbours new baby. Sorry to say I can't be bothered anymore with saying isn't she just gorgeous when really my real thoughts are what is that pink wriggly thing and how quick can I get away without seeming impolite...Just off to paint on a smile

jewelrus
I feel exactly the same as you re: the lil da'lings!
A comment I have made to new mothers is " wow - your lifestyle is really going to change now!" And then you don't have to make stuff up about 'cuteness', etc.

I recently asked a relative that has two pre- schoolers, if her and dh got away on a vacation this winter and she sadly said "no, but maybe next year". Then later I asked if she planned to start golfing again (she golfed before having kids) and she said no,she wouldn't be able to 'cause she just doesn't have time. This is afer we had been discussing me & dh having been away for 2 months this winter and planning to golf lots this summer. OOOOOHHHH I'm soo bad! But oh, how I love my childfree status!

BTW I sure like your name.

cp

Oh man, I WISH I could get off the top of the list for "legal guardian upon death" with my nephews (age 2 and 6). She's my husband's only sibling, and his parents are too old to be expected to be guardians. When he became the 2nd one's god father (Catholics), I jokingly said, "that better not be legally binding." My husband looked crushed. Then, we actually had to "discuss" that possible situation. What it came down to was "family is family." He loves me, accepts that we will not being having children (having gone through 2 terminated pregnancies with me and my getting a tubal ligation), but his nephews cannot end up in foster care if God forbid (knock on wood) something happens to both their parents. Truthfully, I agree him. He is right. Family is family. Dear God, please let those people stay safe and healthy.

Hi CP Thanks for the advice, thats a brill idea and saves me feeling resentful for having to put on a show.Thats always one of the the bits I hate most as I feel I have to compromise on MY feelings to suit them. I once made a fauxpas at a family christening by saying the baby was [u]actually [/u]nice,however the use of the word actually apparently inferred that wasn't always the case, oh my god you would think I had killed someone, I mean if all babies were gorgeous then where have all the gorgeous adults they should have turned into by default gone??? Like I said I am so glad I stumbled onto this site as being CF by choice can sometimes feel like being in a very small house surrounded by skyscrapers. I am an animal person but I still accept that not everyone does animals, so would by my polite upbringing alter my conversation to suit, however when the inevitable question.....how many kids do you have is asked and I say I am CF by choice and ain't got a maternal bone in my body it only seems to encourage the conversation to be about kids! Dont they ever have anything else to talk about.They dont seem to realise that the intensity of childrearing has a sell by date and that eventually if they have done the upbringing thing well the little ones will go off into the wide blue yonder and they will have to find some other topics of conversation, but heh I forgot they then move onto grandchildren!!! Glad you like my name, lets just say its very descriptive, something else I spend my earnings on being CF Heh Heh

Hi D Fortunately for us, there was an abundance of other relatives to choose from, who all have kids so in my opinion far better equipped to understand the demands etc required,we were his first choice becaused we didn't have kids, but at that time he didn't know why(we never hid the fact why, the topic just never came up)he just assumed we couldn't have any and I can only presume he chose us as some kind of consolation prize...how thoughtful. I do agree the situation would have been totally different if like yourself we were the only ones as family is family.