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Joined: Jan 2010
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We have a fellow employee who is pregnant. What is so significant about this? This young woman is deaf-mute and communicates at work in writing. I don't even know if she knows American Sign Language at home. How is such a person going to respond to the cries of her baby or distinguish...there are different cries...if the baby is hungry, or sick,or otherwise in distress, or simply trying to get her attention? I knew someone years ago who had a hearing loss that was hereditary, and many siblings with varying degrees of deafness. Isn't life hard enough, parenting hard enough without a handicap to consider? I saw on another CF website that the American Diabetes Association had now approved pregnancy even for women with Type I diabetes. ?!?!?! This potentially fatal disease tends to run in families, and women with Type I diabetes, where maybe a trickle of insulin and usually not even that is produced by the pancreas, run a much higher risk of having babies with cersbrospinal defects. If my pancreas produced nothing to break down the sugar in my food, the last thing on my mind would be a baby. It's gotten so no holds barred a lovely young woman who became a quadruple amputee because of bacterial meningitis was asked if she planned on having any kids. Again, ?!?!?! This fascinating young woman, who was working on a psychology degree and planning on helping disabled adults, intelligently replied, "If a child got into a situation where I needed to get him or her out quickly I probably couldn't do it without an able bodied person to help me full time, so no, this isn't something I plan." I live someplace where even anonymous sperm donation is required medical coverage for single women who want babies. Why not do like Rosie O'Donnell and Michelle Pfeiffer and adopt kids who might otherwise be hard to place? The severely ill, handicapped, women wanting babies but regarding fathers as disposable, who is going to be the next targeted group to treat babies like souvenirs? Personally I believe marriage and parenthood are for adults only and only for those without serious physical handicaps or personal histories of serious illness or genetic defects that run in families. Having been diagnosed with adult onset asthma when my daughter turned 2 is part of the reason I don't want a second child. Why make pregnancy more difficult and risk the baby's life? Babies are not souvenirs, but people with total dependence on other human beings, and I really find the current trend of encouraging EVERYONE to have one regardless of how sick or physically handicapped or in an unstable relationship a frightening one.

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I'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with many of your views. I don't want children. That's my decision. I'm not here to tell other people whether or not they can. Someone tried that once before, and it didn't go over to well... what was his name... oh yeah, Hitler. Deaf people have children all the time, and care for them just fine. While growing up, my neighbor's were deaf, and they had hearing kids who we played with all the time. Obviously, they can care for children. What if my husband and I had actually wanted children? He was born with a cleft palate. That's a 1 in 14 chance of passing it on. Would you ban us from having kids? I'm a biologist, my expertise in molecular genetics. I know more about this than most, and I'm sure as heck not qualified to start drawing lines for people. What makes you an expert?

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I have to disagree as well. The "deaf-mute" woman will have no trouble communicating and bonding with her child. An "able-bodied" person like me with no desire to respond to different cries would be the one I'd advise against having children. The woman with bacterial meningitis, well, that's not a communicable disease. Her children will more than likely be perfectly fine. And diabetes isn't a death sentence either. It's controllable now more than ever before. I don't have a problem with other people choosing to have a baby or two unless they are doing so in such a way that actually will have long term negative effects on others and the environment. (I'm looking at you, Mrs. Duggar.) It's unfair to pick and choose who should and shouldn't have a baby based on what you perceive their level of ability or disability to be. Especially when those women work and participate in society and contribute what they can. I am more apt to be judgmental toward the perfectly capable young women who live on government handouts and ACT like victims, and have babies with every boyfriend they ever came in contact with. That is the type of person I thought this was going to be about. The women who CAN do for themselves but choose not to, and then expect everyone around to treat each impending baby like a gift from heaven and bestow it and them with presents from their registries at all the posh stores.

Last edited by Ellavemia; 03/31/10 07:48 AM.
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What if an able-bodied person with no handicaps at all has a child and then has a tragic accident leaving them paralyzed? Should they lose their children?

People with disabilities have children all the time and take care of them pretty well too. I used to know a guy whose parents were both deaf. He said his parents were great.

Some adoption agencies will look at medical histories, and I don't think that's all that fair. Someone isn't able to have a child because of infertility, and now they might have another problem that will prevent them from adopting. It does happen, and it makes me sad.

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I'd rather have a deaf, physically challenged, loving parent than a physically "perfect" cold, distant parent that only had me to feed their ego, fit into society, make friends, etc. Narcissism is a worse barrier to good parenting than any other "disability" but it's invisible! If this deaf mother wants children and has the capacity to love them she'll make a great mom.

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Originally Posted By: Dolyn
I don't want children. That's my decision. I'm not here to tell other people whether or not they can. Someone tried that once before, and it didn't go over to well... what was his name... oh yeah, Hitler.


I must say I also thought of Hitler when I read this post.

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Parents need to be able to love and care for their children. That's all. They don't need to be physically and mentally perfect, and neither do the children. A deaf woman is perfectly capable of raising her children well and it's been done countless times. Likewise people with diabetes. Likewise amputees.

The most serious inheritable illnesses can now be screened for if it's important to you. Since you've made your decision, for your own personal reasons, it would be decent to allow others the same courtesy.

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I agree with all the other comments. I work with disabled adults, some of them are the most loving, caring people you could meet, and in that respect would be very caring and devoted parents. You're pretty much discriminating against people with disabilities. I do agree that parenting seems to be taken a bit too lightly. And some people should not have the right to have children at all {those that abuse, abandon, damage them}. But even then, people have grown up to be outstanding people in society, even with a terrible background. And with so many advances in technology, the disabled will be able to more easily take care of themselves, and progress, even have children if that's what they want. I do respect your opinion, but will have to disagree strongly.


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