BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage It's been 2 months

Hello, It seems like the worst thing about having had a miscarriage is that no one really wants to talk about it except me. I'm fine in my day to day life but some days it confounds me and I can't help thinking "Why me?" I lost my baby at 8 weeks, and I have so many questions still about it. I'm posting in the hopes that I can get answers from women with similar experiences. At 7 weeks I started spotting. Got a vaginal ultrasound, and there was a heartbeat. I went on bed rest and the spotting was no better or worse. And then after about a week, I had cramps and a few hours later, a complete miscarriage. The thing that bugs me is that I was told that when you hear a heartbeat, 95% of the time you go on to have the baby. Which makes me think that it had something not to do with the fetus itself, but me. I suspect I have endometriosis and so I looked online and found to my horror that sometimes it can cause your uterus to believe you don't have a fertilised egg when in fact you do. Is this what happened? The miscarriage happened right around the time I would've got my regular period. I'd be grateful for any responses, thanks!

You have some really good questions in here. First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. Secondly, and please re-read this, you did nothing wrong!!! There was something going on in the development of the baby that couldn't be helped. I applaud you for wanting to talk about it. On Monday, I had my 2nd D&C in 6 months due to the result of another Missed Miscarriage. I was lucky to have the option of surgery and really feel for you having to go through it naturally. Each time I had an u/s at 7.5 weeks but the babies were only 6 weeks in growth. Today I would have been 10 weeks along; however, after seeing a heartbeat during the 1st u/s, there was no growth and eventually no heartbeat 10 days later. It is total [censored] that seeing the heartbeat is a very strong indicator that things will be okay. I only say this because the heartbeat was seen but not heard in both of my cases. Be very objective about what you read online. It will scare the [censored] out of you and probably will not even apply in your case. I keep reading about possible causes but know that only through tests can my doctor determine my issues. It's totally fine to be mad, frustrated, upset and curse all those women who have never had an issue in their lives. I know 'cause it's what I've done too. Today I found out that my neighbor is expecting her 3rd child which was a total surprise to them. Her due date was 5 days before mine. GRRRRR Hopefully my story helps a little bit. Let me know if you need anything else. Leslie

Thanks for your reply - it's nice that someone's out there. I also feel rather churlish that you should be offering me consolation considering your experiences, the 2nd being so recent - that must be awful to go through, and I'm so sorry. It's hard to be objective about what you read online! I know what I really should do is get an appointment with a specialist and try and sort out if endometriosis is, indeed, an issue. So where does the heartbeat statistic come from anyway?!

Please don't feel that way. Every loss is traumatic yes...but the difference with me is that I've been through it once already, had accepted the loss a week or so ago and know getting pregnant is not the issue. That statistic...gag! Not really sure. If you feel strongly about testing, find a GYN who will do it for you. I've never had any issues health wise, so we're only testing now after 2 losses. I wish you the best and hope you have the kind of support I've found in my neighborhood especially because our family is so far away. Also, I hope you have a partner that loves and takes care of you as much as my husband does. You can go through anything like this together. All the Best.