BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Is it always career women who stay childfree?

In short, no. Absolutely not. I work from home. It has taken a while to find good jobs that can be done from home but that's what I chose to do. It's not that I left a great career that offered me a position from home or that I have some amazing qualifications which allow me to snag anything under the sun from wherever I might happen to be. I made a choice and I searched until I found something that pays decently and I am still searching for an even more perfect fit. I am an entrepreneur and I can be outgoing when needed but I prefer the quiet so I can concentrate. The problem is, most resources for finding work-at-home employment are directed at an audience of moms who want to stay home with the kids. It's very hard to find anyone else who chooses to work out of a home office because of the other benefits. One of those other benefits is that I can be here more often because I enjoy it. I enjoy having dinner for my husband no matter what shift he works instead of getting off at a different time and being too tired to cook. I enjoy being a homemaker and a provider for my husband and I enjoy having the ability to use my strengths in jobs I can do on my terms. I enjoy having flexibility and I love cleaning, cooking, baking, and working without makeup on if I choose to. I love not having to deal with the office gossip and the time-wasting breaks and interruptions. Children have simply never crossed my mind unless I happened to be thinking about how fortunate I am not to have them. I see so many women completely devoted to their kids giving up on their own well-being and their relationship with their spouse to dote solely upon their offspring. That's just not me. I am dedicated to me and to my husband and there isn't any room or desire for anyone else in the equation. we are able to travel or to stay home or to do whatever feels like a good idea at the moment. We are free to plan and save for our future without worrying about what surprises might befall our kids in our lifetimes. This is real freedom, and I love it. That's why I don't have kids.

I think, for me, the reason I "get" to focus so much on my career is due to the fact I don't want children. It's not the reason I didn't have them. I don't think I'm a workaholic at all, but I do enjoy my work. My job is kind of a "no set hours, as long as you get your work done" kind of job. So, if I want to stay late and do all my work the first 3 days of the week, or even go in on the weekend and take weekdays off, I can. I don't have to be home at 3:00 to meet the kids, or rush to get them from daycare, or worry about what to do with them for school holidays. Certainly, not having kids allows me to be a more productive worker, but it's not the reason at all I chose not to have them. And, of course, all my husband's and my free time is ours:)

I love my job and it is very important to me, but it's not the reason I chose not to have kids. I decided not to have kids just because I didn't want them. Nothing to do with being career driven, because there have been times when I have had a demanding job, times when I haven't and also times when I was without a job. I just never, ever wanted them.

Here here! I'm a singing coach, and I have a lot of students, but I only "work" when I've got someone in my studio. I'm not obsessed with my career by any stretch. I didn't want the lifestyle that came with singing at the Met or travelling around singing and being away from DH. So I guess I'm not the most ambitious person in the world, but I just like my life the way I like it. I didn't always know I wanted to be a voice teacher, but I've been pretty sure since my teen years that I didn't want kids. I love helping teenagers- I teach them well but I also relate to them and am a good shoulder for them- as voice teachers often are. Maybe it's my way of involving kids in my life- I get to go home at night and "return" them to their parents!

Hey, virgo girl, your career and outlook sound alot like mine, except I knew I wanted to teach dance.

I consider my writing and art to be my career, even though I have yet to make money at it. Becoming a published writer is my career objective and lifelong dream. I am very serious about my writing, but I'm not career obsessed in the stereotypical way. I don't want kids because I don't want my creativity to be buried under the busy, detail-oriented life of a mother. The way things are now, I model for art classes part time (I get to be a professional nudist, haha). I'm involved in theatre, and I love performing. I have wonderful, uninterrupted quiet time to work on my writing projects (except when the cats yowl, but that's manageable for me). I paint, have art shows, write, make costumes, take dance classes, and spend a lot of quality time with my husband. Since we don't have kids, we don't need two full-time salaries to live a comfortable life. We live in an apartment, take public transit, and live within our means.

**raises hand**

I don't have a career, I have a "job", period. I like it well enough, even though the hours suck, but the chief purpose of said job has been to pay the bills. Currently, since our goal of getting out of debt has been accomplished (we paid off our mortgage 8 years early **HAPPY DANCE**!) every extra cent has gone towards the Early Retirement Fund, a goal we expect to reach in the next three years. I am absolutely, totally sure we would never have accomplished that if we had a kid.

If I could get paid for what I *really* love doing, my career description would be: working in my gardens, playing with my pets, hangin' out with my mate and twizzling on the internet - not necessarily in that order of preference. Since I couldn't make a career out of that, and pay the bills, those are activities for my off hours until I retire. Then I can do them full time.

Nope not career obsessed.IM obsessed with my own personal development and advancement of my academic life :) IM currently a masters student in a Psychotherapy programme, but its as much about self realisation and self development as it is about working in the field.. I just know I want to live my own life, not a life devoted to the growth of my children.

[quote=zshar-ptitsa]Nope not career obsessed.IM obsessed with my own personal development and advancement of my academic life :) IM currently a masters student in a Psychotherapy programme, but its as much about self realisation and self development as it is about working in the field.. I just know I want to live my own life, not a life devoted to the growth of my children. [/quote] -------------------------------------------------------- zshar-ptitsa , i agree with u , I think everyone has the right to choose the lifestyle he/she wants . actually not every woman has that natural motherly instincts so it will never be possible for them to understand how a person can spend a part of her life caring for someone else . So its either u have that instincts or u dont have .Therefore that experience of joy can't be felt by those who are not mother , as the joy of living ur life all for urself can't be experienced by those who have to take careof their kids . In abscense of that feeling , they can't even stand to be with children for long let alone taking care of them . For them Its really a sensible decison not to choose to devote a part of ones life to caring for another human being . At times a mother who doesn't have that instinct can be dangerous to a child , we have seen so many cases of mother killing their child out of resentment . so best of luck for whatever u do .

[quote=Jilly]I am not a career person - i am actually a work-adverse person. Hubby and I just don't find children interesting.[/quote] This sounds a lot like me. I have a really good job, but I could change to something else tomorrow if the opportunity presented itself. I have even thought of ditching the work and going back to school full-time to get a degree that ACTUALLY interests me (French language). However, my hubby and I would have to re-do the budgets and take out student loans again... *heavy sigh* Kids just do not have any place in our lives and we have been together for 15 years!