BellaOnline Forums Relationships Gay/Lesbian Relationships So confused...could definitely use some advice!!

So I've managed to put myself in a, well lets say, less desirable situation. Last Saturday, I was at an organized lesbian party and came across this beautiful blonde femme. Although she was evidently quite drunk, we did manage to flirt a little. However, i also met her friend and she had told me that the girl (the femme) was in a long-distance relationship and that they don't see each other often. So bummed as I was, and albeit drunk, i let myself hook up with the friend whom i saw the next day, but there are no real sparks. So on Monday, the original femme sent me a message on facebook just to start some small talk. Truth be told, i was a bit taken aback, but i responded to her and vice versa. Eventually our exchanges of emails turned into a 6 hour chat. We didn't talk about relationships much (im fresh out of one), some tidbits here and there, but we did joke a lot, and just have fun. We both ended up going to bed at like 4am!! The next day, she gave me one of her phone numbers, supposedly the one she doesn't really use since she was a bit hesitant giving me her main one because we obviously don't know each other well enough, and i could totally respect that. Needless to say, we ended up chatting for about 2 hours that night and she sent me a text msg from her Main number saying "good night, sweet dreams". She was also the one person that was most interested in how i did on an exam yesterday by asking 5 times when it was and wishing me luck 5 times, She even sent me a text msg last night asking how the exam went, when no one else really did. We also spoke yesterday, but these internet chats are getting boring for me. I need to see the person face-to-face. So here is where it gets tricky and where i am quite confused. A) she doesn't live in the same city, albeit its only 1.5 hours away by car so its manageable. B) at the original party, she kept pushing me towards her friend, and she still mentions her friend here and there during our convos, but ive made it clear that theres nothing going on. C) shes been with her current long-distance gf for almost 2 years, yet the girl is not completely her type (which is femme...and i am femme, while the gf is the alternative punk type). D) She's coming up to the city (where i live) this weekend for her parents anniversary and her best friends bday, but is only staying for a night and a morning and claims she has no time to go for a coffee with me (do i believe she has no time, or do i assume she doesn't want to see me?). E) we keep talking about exchanging movies but she keeps saying how her gf would not be pleased...as if she knows that this is inappropriate. What do i do? I reaaaally like her, albeit i barely know her and i would definitely need to see her in person a couple times. But i just have this feeling...we just "click". Am i reading too much into all this? Is she just trying to be friendly (we've made jokes how this is all "friendly"...yet, we know there are aspects whereby it isn't)? I mean, who speaks to someone for like 10 hours over the span of 3 days...a person they BARELY know? She sent me a text last night when i told her i was out watching a movie and going for a drink saying "oooh, you were on a date, hehe. cool." Like, why did she immediately assume that? I just said i was out at the movies. I need someones objective opinion. Am i really reading too much into this? I really want to drive down to her town and see her next weekend. Or should i not bother? What should i do? I want to show her i am interested, but i want it to be very subtle. I'm so confused. Help!!

HI there, I know how your feeling trust me!.. Im a lesbian myself and I hope I can kinda help you out with your perdicament. First off your definetly not reading into this to much. This girl (eventhough shes in a long term relationship) is totaly into you, no lesbian talks for ten hours in a three day span if shes not into the other girl.When she was "teasing" you about going on a date at the movies she was clearly flirting with you. Ya sure shes in a relationship but you probly have no clue how that relationship is going, like is it going good? concrete solid? Who knows maybe shes been wanting to dump this girl shes been a 2yr relationship with, and then you come along and gives all the more reason to do so, its obvious shes into you, by what you describe i believ there chemistry. I dont however think you should drive to her city, you dont wanna mess up anything with her curent gf, let this girl come to you first, you said something about exchanging movies? you should try to get her to come to you for the movies but when she gets there invite her to watch one with you at ur place....just a thougt...I hope the best for you and future outcome ...all the best

I say give it a shot!!! But draw the lines first. Make sure she calls it quits with current......

I'm in kinda the same situation... My first love was at age 11, I was with her for 4 years and really truly in love with her. We didn't split because we wanted too. This was 24 years ago. I didn't want another woman from that point on. I did date a woman for about 3 months inbetween being married 3 times and currently separated from him for a year. Then....... my first put up a face book page. Mind you she lives in my old hometown 900+ miles away. I did what most anyone would do, I contacted her.... and wow, those feelings rushed back so fast I thought I would faint... and she felt the same, she said since we split she had never really given her heart to anyone. She's in a long term ( + years relationship with what was her best friend, no sex though, they ended that part of the relationship a long time ago, but neither sees anyone out of respect. Hmmmmm secrets are not my best attribute. Even my mom asked when I was catching a flight when I told her I had found her. I am one of those people that doesn't hide anything, I didn't back then and wouldn't now... Unfortunately my first 29 years since we were first together, still hasn't "made it public", its an unspoken of thing with her family, I think that sucks, we talk for hours everyday, text constantly and are still mad crazy about each other, question of the day is, could I get back with her and live a "secret life".. not so sure, I believe that if you are in love it shoukd not be a hidden thing no matter the sexuality. I am fortunate, my mom knew about her when we were together and was ok with it, I can tell my parent's anything, and today my mother knows I never fell out of love with her and is supportive of reuniting our relationship. So confused, I say go for it..... I think I'm going to providing I don't have to keep it a secret...