BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Is it always career women who stay childfree?

A couple of days ago, Cleopatra24 started a thread playing with the theory that childfree women were maybe not that romantic about sex, or that they could separate sex and love or something like that. As the answers proved, (at least to me, the sample was not big enough) there is no such connection. Actually, I find there is kind of a prejudice behind: if a woman does not want children, she must very unconventional about love and sex.

I have heard many many times, especially in the media, how women postpone or even give up having children because they are focusing on their jobs. Again, I find a prejudice in this case; the underlying judgment here is : a woman wants naturally children, so if she doesn't have one, she must have a powerful reason, like a another acceptable life project.

I am a teacher, I have been working for a long time, I have never worked long hours and I have never had big ambitions in my professional life other than make myself a cozy life. Career was never a reason not to have a child. My reasons were basically, well, not wanting one.

Are there any other women out there with no executive, 60 hours a week jobs, who just don't want children? I bet there are.

You found one here. M-F 8-5 office jobs and just now ready to start something new that may be more than 40 hours a week.

I never felt comfortable around kids even when I was one. Growing up, I never babysat and just always knew that I would never have kids. It's even in my yearbook message.

Now - I love kids! I love entertaining them and have so much more patience, and God help whoever hurts one while I am around.

But - all in all - I spared some child or children from a possible emotional bad time, therefore - maybe I cared about them more than I thought....

Wow, Solalux. A teacher who doesn't work long hours? I taught 16 years, and most of my days were 10-12 hours at least and then I took home several more hours worth of papers to grade. I wish I had taught where you teach.

Anyway, I wasn't really a career woman. My job was very demanding, yes, but I still wanted a family. Circumstances kept that from happening.

I will say that now that I am in grad school and am focusing on beginning a new career when I earn this degree, children are no longer in the plan. I'm unable anyway, and I'm getting older, but I realize that my life is great without them.

I don't really know if most childfree women are choosing to put their careers ahead of children. I think there would be many other reasons as well. Career wouldn't be the only one.

I'm an undecided when it comes to kids, but it's not because I'm so focused on my career. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE my job. I hope to never leave it. But I get to the office at 8am, and I leave at 5pm, no exceptions. I do not take work home with me. I never work nigths or weekends, and rarely have "job stress". I work to live, not live to work. That being said, if I DO have a child, I will continue to work, because I'd rather do what I do day-to-day then be at home with a child during those hours.

For the record, I have worked mainly in Spain and Germany and I have never spent more than seven hours in the work-place, lesson planning included (except, maybe, in my first years). I am not counting the hours spent at home checking papers. I worked 3 years in the States, and with so much paperwork and standard tests the amount of work was a lot more! With so many daily memos for everything and due dates for this and that, it is the closest I have been to having an office job!

I didn't want kids when I was in my twenties because I wasn't in a healthy relationship and knew neither man would be a responsible father in one case a patient one in the other. I changed my mind about pursuing a four year degree that could have lead to a higher position, and don't work now more than 40 hours a week. I won't be working at all for probably the next two weeks because of pneumonia. I know young men who don't want to be parents not because they are that ambitious, but because they fear failure in efforts to discipline, or have a family history of certain problems, like alcoholism and diabetes, so they don't want to spread the misery. I had a female classmate who wanted to be a parent, wanting the closeness with another human being she didn't get when her mom died of ovarian cancer, but once she had her child she realized she didn't like being a parent, so she didn't have any more children or remarry. Each individual is different, and each set of reasons for becoming a parent or not becoming one is different.

I'm very focused on and love what I do, but I only work part time. So yea, here's me I don't want to work full time or have kids...

Although, if the opportunity arised for me to open my own performing arts center I'd gladly work full time....

regardless of hours, when I get home that's mine and my husbands time and hearing a screaming child would send me mentally over the edge...I NEED my quiet time.

I am not a career person - i am actually a work-adverse person. Hubby and I just don't find children interesting.

I'm also a teacher (but can't agree with Solalux that it doesn't involve long hours! The paperwork is insane!!) I love kids, love working with them but would never want them. I'm not particularly ambitious in that I want a comfortable job but wouldn't want to work in the inner cities or high up in a large school which is where the high salaries would be. Frankly I don't see why having a good marriage, a nice home, holidays and being productive members of society isn't enough! I'm perfectly happy as I am and see children as far more of a burden than something that would 'complete' me. And it's more than just a prejudice - it's a ridiculous stereoype. Why do people believe there are either 'mothers' or 'career-driven harpies' and nothing in between!