BellaOnline Forums Family Attachment Parenting 5 yr old fits! Need help!

I have a 5 yr old who attends kindergarden. EVERY morning he throws a fit taht he doesn't wanna go to school on the bus. It is soooooo bad that we have had to chase him around the front yard and he has locked us outta the house while the bus is coming. Most of the time I have to drive him kicking and screaming to school. When we carry him to the bus stop at the end of our driveway, he will punch my hubby on the head and arms, bite, scream, kick and cry. He says we are just trying to get rid of him and he hates us. Once I get him to school he settles down and goes to his class....with tears. With me at home he will tip over the chairs in the house, throw things and dig the heck outta me if he doesn't get his own way. We have tried time outs on the couch, spanking on the butt and taking away priviledges....to no avail. He just refuses to listen and every morning is a battle. What are we to do???? I feel like I am failing him as a parent and am thinking he may need outside help. There is no divorce here, no family violent behavior, no moving around or anything else that would be dissruptive in his life. We are at our wits end. Any help would be greatley appreciated!!! Thanks a million in advance, BooBoosWife

I would question the following assumptions:



you don't HAVE to chase him around the yard

It's no wonder he doesn't feel listened to, he's trying to tell you he doesn't want to go, he feels abandoned (you're just trying to get rid of me) and yet HE is the one who needs help?

I hope I'm not coming off harsh, but this boy is trying to tell you he doesn't want to go.

Is there a reason? The reason he's giving you is that he's feeling abandoned. That's serious.

You do have a choice about the relationship you build. In my opinion, you're setting yourself up for a relationship without trust. Don't assume the child is damaged or defective. He's exasperated because you're not listening. People don't like to feel that they can't trust their caregivers.

Imagine if you were in his shoes. This does NOT sound like an "attached" relationship.

Who is the one "refusing to listen" when you're carrying him to the bus stop and he's kicking, screaming, punching and biting?