BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Fear of marriage

Hello. I'm new to this site, childfree male, and very cautious. I'm wondering if anybody in their 20s fear marriage because the divorce rate is up and teen pregnancy is increasing in younger generations. I fear that I may end up with the wrong person, especially to someone who wants kids. Well younger people tend to marry for the wrong reasons.

I am not in my 20's but I think the most important thing for you to do is to take your time. When you do have someone special in your life and you feel it getting serious, do have the important discussions about having children, money management, life's goals, dreams, etc. You need to find someone on the same page as you in regards to having children BEFORE making that big commitment and getting married, as well as having common ground in regards to the other issues I mentioned.

Even so, there is always a chance that one or both of you will change your mind at some point down the road (I did....first I wanted kids and then I didn't). There are no guarantees, unfortunately. Some things can be worked out, but the children issue can be a deal breaker. Stay true to yourself and partner with someone that shares your views on being childfree. That will be your best chance for success.

At almost 43 yrs old I think I have learned a lot the hard way. Maybe you can benefit a little bit as a result of my difficult experience of being married to someone who had a difference in opinion about having children (we are getting divorced after 16 yrs).

I wish you good luck and all the best.

Yup, I am a marriage and commitmentphobe and in my mid 20s.

Everyone shares your fears. That's normal. The world today is a scary place but that doesn't mean life can't work out the way you want it to.

I agree with everything Cassie has said. The things you want in life aren't guaranteed and sometimes you have to expect the unexpected but that's life. You make wise choices and take risks that are worth taking. Sometimes certain things work while others don't. But don't let that stop you from doing everything you want to do. Don't allow your fears of failure or disappointment keep you from experiencing all the great things life has to offer.

Stop thinking with fear and think with wisdom. That's the difference.