BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids What's up with all the baby-obsessed men? - Rant!!

One more thing....I will be divorced soon and shortly thereafter I will be organizing a trip to Australia for any available ladies that want to go along with me. Evidently that is where all the men are who want to be CF. Any interest out there ladies? The accent those men have will surely make you swoon. LOL!

Lady M and Cassie67, I've read so many of your posts and I really feel for both of you. This really is a subject that gets me so mad. I am divorced (the ex and I split for other reasons not CF-related) but in the dating world, I am seeing so many guys that want kids. Why, oh why did I think that men were the ones who had to be convinced to have kids or could at least be happy going either way? All I see are ones who really do want kids, (and the person who wrote this is spot on:)- not because they sincerely want to be fathers, but because they want to speread their genes and reproduce. They have no clue of just how much more this impacts a woman's life than theirs, because they've been socially conditioned to think This Is The Way It Is And Has Always Been Done, rather than think through and consider what's fair. And if you point this out? Well, so and so's wife didn't have a problem with doing it.....Not sure if this is a matter of wanting to keep a woman down or in control (unless that's very subconscious) as it is pure cluelessness. I was talking to 2 girlriends who are trying to conceive. When both suggested the idea of adoption to their husbands, neither would even hear of it. It really chapped my hide to know these guys had no problem subjecting their wives to infertility treatments, pregnancy and labor- just so they can have their genes copied. YUCK. It's not about being a dad, or raising a kid- it's an ego thing. ETA: Cassie - you crack me up! If there's any way I could afford to go to Australia, I'd be right along there with you!!

Cassie - Australia sounds fabulous - wish I could afford it - maybe in a year or two... Also - I wanted to ask - why will you have to give up your beloved dogs - after all, YOU raised them. I told my husband over my dead body would he take my darling dog. At least he had the decency not to try to take her. She was as heartbroken as I was, though - after he left, every evening she would sit by the front door, looking out of the sidelight, waiting for him to come home. After about an hour, she would sigh, and walk away and come sit next to me, with a stricken look on her face. It broke my heart. Having her was one of the things that kept me sane during that time. Last year I had to put her down due to old age - she was 15. I miss her with all my heart. She was my angel dog.

Yes, why do you need to give them up??

Hi ladies. Unfortunately where I am going to live with my family there won't be any room for dogs in the house and my family members are not dog people. They wouldn't like that I have to vacuum every day. Labs shed like crazy! They also have a cat roaming around in the small house, so it just would not work out, at least not right now. I'm moving across the country and I have to find a job. I don't have any college degrees so my earning potential is not all that great but I should be able to make a living. I may or may not be able to live on my own for some time. I already will have my two horses to support (if by the grace of God I can find the money somewhere to have them transported to where I am going). It would be hard financially and otherwise for me to take my dogs, and I am sure that my husband wouldn't want to give them up. They have a big yard here and a good living situation, and the dogs were supposed to be his after all (even though I do most of the work). In his mind he has to work long hours.....oh well. Just how much would he actually wind up helping me out with raising kids when he can barely help out with the dogs???!!! I fear that my dogs won't get the best of care when I am gone.

And by the way, I am not really going to Australia. Just wishful thinking.....LOL!!!

I just had a thought - it seems as if the men written about here changed their minds and started getting baby-obsessed right at about the same time - around 40ish or so. Sounds like a mid-life crisis to me! Used to be, men just got sports cars or had affairs. But now that our society is even more baby-obsessed than ever, it seems, babies and procreation are now being seen by some men as the answer to their unhappiness. It seems that for some people, the only thing they don't have, suddenly becomes the one thing that they think they cannot live without. Just a thought...

My husband's friend went through the same thing at age 40. He never wanted kids either until his father died, and all of a sudden he went into a mid-life crisis needing kids. My husband's grandfather died a year ago. Next thing you know my husband is also having a mid-life crisis and needing kids. He'll be 40 this year.

When the needs don't get met, the wife gets kicked to the curb like trash.

Am I a little bitter??? You betcha.

Hmmm, I wonder if the men who hit 40(ish) who already have kids want the sports car, the affair, etc, and the men who don't have kids already have all the "stuff" (because, let's face it, you can afford a lot more fun when you're CF) and they want what they don't have - kids. It would be an interesting study.

Since the beginning of time, women have always gotten the short end of the stick. Let's face it ladies, it's a man's world, we just live in it. Sometimes being a woman really sucks.

I'm also bitter today. I'm upset with my husband and this post helped relieve some of my anger. Thanks all.