BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Somewhat Confused...

This guy and I spoke briefly on a boardwalk area off the beach several months ago. Then a few weeks ago, we ran into each other again and spoke for about an hour - very fluid and engaging. He's a doctor who specializes in spines and joints, so he gave me a pseudo-exam right there (hands on my hips, moving my head back and forth, etc.). He told me I had nice hair. Anyway, he offered me his business card when I asked him whether he was in a group or alone. I simply took it. The conversation continued, then when we were getting ready to go our separate ways, he hugged me, and I enthusiastically told him how glad I was that we spoke and so forth. He said that he meets lots of people all the time, and you never know who he'll meet who may need a teacher, which is the job I am currently seeking. I then volunteered my telephone number for him to call me if that happens. He put my name and number right into his cell phone. We chatted a few more minutes, then he hugged me again. We walked towards our cars, and he made another comment about my hair, and I gently stroked down his arm and smiled as I walked away. End of story!!! What happened?

It's possible that you mis-read his signals. There are a lot of people that are really affectionate and it's nothing more then how they react to people that they meet. Unfortunately the people that they meet read more into what was intented. I hope I'm wrong and that he's just busy being a doctor and that he will call you.
Best of luck!

It's possible that I misread his signals, although there were a lot, as I mentioned in my story. I do think he is probably very warm and affectionate, but I hope that hos actions symbolized more of a romantic interest than not. We'll see what happens, but I think too much time has gone by without any communication on either side. I thought he would have taken more initiative after our meeting.

GEF,
I hope so too, since you seem to like him. Keep us posted!!!

I always feel like some kind of spoilsport when I write on this forum, but I find things a little weird in your story. The guy was no doubt charming and eloquent, but I find him way too touchy for a first encounter (and that coming from a Mediterranean girl, where people don't avoid body contact as much as in other latitudes, lol). On the other hand, if anything romantic had taken place in his head, he would have called next day. Nobody is so busy that he takes month to call. I wouldn't give the guy any further thought. But who knows.

Hi! Yes, I thought he was a bit "familiar" during our chance meeting on the boardwalk, although it was out in the open in the morning, and nothing he did was inappropriate. As far as the pseudo-exam, it lasted a couple of minutes and related to the prior conversation. I know it probably reads worse than it was! However, it was the two hugs that got me thinking he was trying to move things in a more romantic direction. I don't know what he was or is thinking. Since our telephone numbers were not technically exchanged for the purpose of our getting together socially, there is a gray area. He may not be comfortable calling, especially if he hasn't come across a lead for a teaching position for me. Although he didn't demonstrate much shyness when he was with me, he may feel a bit apprehensive about contacting me. Does any of this shed new light on your opinion?

Solalux,
I know exactly what you mean about being a "spoil sport" in this column. I feel bad too a lot of times. On the one hand sometimes the answer seems so cut and dry -obvious. But then again, not being there to actually witness the exchange, maybe there were other signs that weren't mentioned, not on purpose, but little details, which come back to memory as people give opinions, can make a huge difference so it always makes sense, GEF, to ask again does this shed any new light.

Hi again! I appreciated reading your last post to Solalux. It is tough to go on the written word without having been a live witness to these situations! In this regard, did the clarification I provided Solalux shed any new light for you on this strange story?

I agree that it is really hard to gauge the situation without having been there firsthand. Since you do seem to be interested in him, though, have you thought about maybe calling him rather than waiting for him to call you?

You can let him know that you enjoyed chatting with him and see if he might be interested in getting together for lunch sometime. Obviously putting yourself out there can be somewhat intimidating but you never know when a risk like that might pay off.

I wish you lots of luck either way!

Thank you for your input! I appreciate it. Several people have advised me to call him. However, I am extremely shy, especially when initiating contact with men. I am also of an old-fashioned mindset that men should be the hunters! (It's been working for centuries, and why toy with perfection?!) Anyway, I also feel that he was comfortable enough flirting and being reasonably open with me during our chance meeting, and he knows how to take it from there. Granted, nothing was said on either side to encourage a call, and the numbers weren't exchanged with the intent to set up a date, which may make him back away out of insecurity, but still...