I'm curious why the issue of couples' choosing to opt out of parenthood, or to have whatever number of children they choose, is society at large's business at all. Whether it is here in U S or elsewhere...
My husband and I originally wanted 2 kids, but, in both of our words, "no more than two". For a variety of reasons, including changed personal dynamics between us and a change in my health state, we opted to stick with our almost 4 year old daughter.
I have 2 friends in the area. One is a guy friend at work...I find men much more tolerant of our choice than women as a rule...and another has a sewing circle I attend. This is a personal issue to this divorced mom of 2 and she doesn't have opinions one way or the other.
Most people, including our family, think we are making a mistake. I don't see how...I have one sibling, and we are estranged. Most people who are really adamant about "you must give her a brother or sister" are either 1) nonparents, or 2) they are parents, but in the context of unstable relationships and either welfare recipients or holders of multiple outside jobs. One had THREE problem pregnancies, two different dads, and holds a day job, full time parent of three, and a third job as a property owner who leases it for additional money. One got WIC vouchers for her two kids who were spaced four years apart. I had a classmate who was a happy one child parent, and those who bullied her to have more had multiples with multiple dads and got no financial support. Do these chaotic individuals want us to live just like them? Can't they be happy for us? I thought that was part of what friendship was, being happy for your friends. Guess not...
Those who claim religious reasons, I'm perplexed. Multiple scriptures cite infertility, and many prophets were part of one child families.
I had a trainee who felt the need to justify to me why he wasn't a parent, and I told him number one it was none of my business, number two I have immense respect for folks who sit down and think about whether or not parenting is what they really want, then opt out. At least they're not penalizing an innocent child for an impulsive decision maybe with unrealistic expectations attached. Any idea on why most folks are so nosy about others' family decisions?
