BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Body Image Male Body Image

I have terrible body image insecurity issues due to my [censored] size. I know that it is not the most important thing, but i feel so embarrassed by my size. I am married, but I don't like to be naked, even in front of my wife. I avoid locker rooms, doctors and any situation where nudity might occur. I spend way too much time thinking about this, and I know I see a distorted image when I look in the mirror. I hope it is ok for a man to discuss an issue here, but there are not many places for men to discuss this issue and men are not as open and helpful with such personal issues. What can I do to feel better about my body? Thank you in advance for your help!

George, my main advice is, if the way you're feeling about your body is affecting your life in significant ways, including your relationships and your health, then I think it is important for you to find a professional to talk to about it. It is like any other mental health issue such as depression or addiction. Also, confide in your wife, she may be able to help you feel better and put it into perspective.

I don't think you should be shamed of your [censored] size. There are so many people with a small [censored] and they can give women plenty of sexual pleasure. (We all want to have a big [censored] to get accepted by women. Who cares about what other men think about your [censored] size?)

If you really are concern about the size and get over the issue, there are many ways to enlarge your [censored]. You should consider a surgery or medicine.

Hello, I think loads of people get a little obsessed over one part of there body and don't see things as they really are. I know I see myself as hugely fat but objectively, on the scales, I am a normal, healthy weight. Either way at least you have realised that you see a distorted image. I would ignore the post about surgery (sorry!) Unless there is something seriously wrong medically I really wouldn't want surgery in that area! Have you shared your concerns with your wife? If not, then do, she may be able to give the reassurance you need. Try and focus on a part of your body which you like whenever you start thinking of negatives and try and build your confidence in other areas. This should make this problem seem much less serious. Good luck:)

George,

Thank you for your courage to share so openly about this very difficult subject for you.

Have you talked to your wife openly about your concerns? How is she viewing your body? If I am not mistaken, most women absolutely adore their mate regardless of their body size. There are many parts of men women find very attractive besides the obvious. Most of all, your confidence, love and all the little things that make you special is what your wife fell in love with, isn't it?

Try to take an inventory of all the things you love about you i.e. your good sense of humor, your creativity or your friendly smile...etc. I understand loving ourselves especially our bodies can be difficult, but do try! Imperfection is beautiful ~ or handsome in your case.

Yes, please feel free to share on Bella Online. I have been in the community since 2008 and find this a very warm, supportive place.

Take good care.

Thank you, Cara! So nice to hear your kind and wise words. IT is so difficult for me to talk about this!

Thank you, Kate! yes, i do know that my view is somewhat distorted, but i just cant shake the insecurity and view that i am so small. i have not talked with my wife about it really. i am just so embarrassed to approach the subject.

George, your wife married you for the way that you are and there is nothing that would make her happier than for you to just be the same man she fell in love with. In my experience size has never been something that was important and the thing that really mattered the most was the love and the communication of the love that I felt with my partner. If you feel like you are not communicating your love to your wife then work harder at showing your genuine affection. There really is nothing to worry about here. She loves you and you love her. Marriage is a beautiful thing.

Thank you, PattyS! You are so right. It is easy for me to lose sight of the fact that she loves me and married me as I am. the insecurity gets the best of my thinking!

Hi, Again, I just want to say thanks for the amazing advice I received. Unfortunatly, I still feel sort of paralyzed to address my insecurity about my body imange issues. I just can't talk to my wife about it b/c I am so embarrassed. I look in the mirror and I see something that really isn't there. I know in moments of sanity that I have a distorted view, but I just can't change it!!! I wish I could accept my body and not feel so bad about my small [censored]. Help!